Prologue

After slamming shut her front door, Sam flung her keys onto the top of the wooden lowboy in her front hall.

She couldn't remember the last time that she had felt this frustrated and...frightened.

Abydos had been destroyed. Every single man, woman, and child had somehow been ascended. Had Daniel been involved in the decision to ascend the populace? Had that been his plan when he left them? Or had Daniel planned to stop Anubis permanently? And, if he had, what had happened?

Was he dead for real this time?

Sam raked her fingers through her short blonde hair and stalked down the hall to the kitchen.

Daniel wasn't dead.

After opening the refrigerator door, Sam pulled out a carton of orange juice. She took a glass from the cupboard and poured some juice into the glass.

Daniel couldn't be dead.

When she lifted the glass of juice to take a drink from it, she realized that her hand was shaking. Actually, both hands were shaking and she could feel the tremors beginning to shiver through her whole body.

She quickly lowered the glass down onto the counter before it dropped from her unsteady grip and tried to will the shivering to stop.

If the Colonel could see me now...

Sam began to laugh but quickly stopped when she realized how hysterical and eerie it sounded echoing in the empty house. Reaction to the events of the past 24 hours was beginning to set in.

She'd watched an entire planet be destroyed today.

A planet full of people.

A planet full of Daniel's people.

He would have saved them if he could. He would have broken the rules for the Abydonians.

What if he was dead?

Had Daniel defied the odds one time too many? How many times could he cheat death? If Daniel was a cat he'd be out of lives by now.

One life lost on the first mission to Abydos. One life lost on the Nox homeworld. One life nearly lost on Klorel's ship. One life lost in the naquadah mine on P3R 636. One life nearly lost on Hadante. One life lost when Ma'chello stole Daniel's body. One life nearly lost at Ammonet's hands. One life lost because of the addictive light in the Goa'uld Pleasure Palace. One life lost on Kelowna.

She wiped her hand across eyes wet with tears.

Daniel had been through so much. Watching his parents die when he was a child, being abandoned by Nick -twice-, losing Sha're, and all the danger and disappointment he'd endured while a part of the SGC. Ascension was supposed to be his opportunity to do all the things that he couldn't as a human; the chance to really make a difference. He should have been able to help the people he cared about without fear of reprisals.

Heck, he should be alive and well here on Earth. He should have never had to suffer through the agony of a slow, disfiguring death by radiation poisoning.

Sam turned and leaned her back against the counter. She slid down onto the floor, pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs.

It wasn't fair.

She missed him more than she thought possible. He'd been her friend and confidant. He was the person who understood her best, the one she ran to when she made an exciting, new discovery and the shoulder that she cried on when everything got to be too much. He never made her feel weak or foolish or like she needed to prove herself because she wasn't a man. She hadn't known how much she depended on him until he was gone.

No one could ever fill the hole left by his absence. Teal'c tried, but he just didn't understand her and he never would. Jonas didn't even come close. And the Colonel...the Colonel...

Sam snorted softly and burrowed her head into her drawn up knees.

It was funny the way a person could twist herself up into knots agonizing over something only to have everything become crystal clear in an instant. She'd spent years beating herself up over her feelings for Colonel O'Neill and now, in one moment, everything changed.

How could you be in love with a man that you couldn't refer to by his first name, even in the privacy of your own mind?

She was pathetic. She was a mature, adult woman with a crush on her boss.

She was really pathetic because while she had been mooning over her CO she had ignored and squandered the other important relationships in her life.

She remembered the desolation that she had felt when Daniel had all but ignored her on Abydos. Was that how Daniel had felt all those times when she had been too busy or when she had acted as if he wasn't in the room or even on the planet because she was too caught up with impressing the Colonel?

She'd been a lousy friend and now it might be too late to make things right. Daniel might be gone for good this time and he didn't know how much she loved him.

And she did love him. He was her best friend, her little brother, and maybe, if things had been different, he could have been more. He could have been a lot more. But, it was too late now. Daniel was no longer a part of their lives. He'd moved on to a higher plain of existence.

Daniel wasn't dead.

He couldn't be because if he was she wasn't sure that she could live with the guilt.

**@@~~@@**

Jack swallowed the last of the beer in the bottle he held. He looked blearily down at the pile of bottles scattered on and around the coffee table.

He'd been at this awhile.

He'd started the moment he walked in his front door and hadn't stopped yet. He turned his arm until he could look at his watch. Unfortunately, his eyes weren't focusing too well and he couldn't make out the numbers. He moved his wrist closer and closer until it was touching his nose before finally giving up.

It was dark now and it had been early afternoon when he got home so it had to have been at least...six hours? Seven hours? He shrugged and dismissed the whole subject. It didn't matter anyway. He was well lubricated and getting closer to oblivion with every drink.

He hadn't had to endure something this horrible since Charlie...

But, he wasn't going to think about that either. The whole point of getting drunk was to stop thinking and forget - everything.

He wanted to forget about Skaara's death, about the destruction of Abydos, and about Daniel's disappearance.

Maybe he could even forget about the entire previous year; Daniel's death and ascension, having a snake in his head, and suffering with Jonas Quinn as a member of his team.

"Daniel, where are you?" he whispered and winced at his plaintive tone.

"Damnit! I need another beer."

He stumbled off of the couch and walked, unsteadily, towards the kitchen, nearly tripping on the bottles littering the floor.

He slipped on the stairs leading out of the living room, twisted sideways, landed partially on the bottom step, then slid off onto the floor.

"This sucks," and it wasn't working. He was still remembering.

//"Remember that fine line we were talking about?"

"Cross it."//

If Daniel was dead, again, then it was his fault. He had kept on pushing and pushing. It had to be his way.

If he'd listened to Daniel in the beginning when Daniel had told him that he'd be punished for breaking the rules then Daniel would still be out there, somewhere, doing his subtle best to make the galaxy a better place.

He knew that Daniel would have found a way to communicate with them if he'd been able; the fact that he hadn't meant that he was in serious trouble - or dead.

After a couple false starts he managed to get up off the floor and staggered over to the fireplace. Reaching out he made a grab for a blurry, to his booze hampered gaze, picture on the mantle. He managed to pick up the photo on the first try and gazed down at Daniel.

The picture had been taken a few years ago - before their falling out.

As soon as Daniel had been released from the infirmary after his encounter with Osiris in Egypt Jack had dragged him off to Minnesota for a long weekend. Daniel had spent most of his time there with his nose buried in a book but Jack had managed to coax him into giving fishing a try. At one point Daniel had fallen asleep with the rod still hanging loosely in his grip. Jack hadn't been able to resist and had snapped a picture.

It had been one of the last vacations that they had taken together.

Not long after that trip Jack had begun to realize that his feelings for Daniel went way beyond friendship. He'd had an extreme panic attack over the situation. He'd never had passionate feelings for a man before; although, he wasn't a stranger to a little male/male stress relief.

He hadn't dealt with his feelings well at all, but then when had he ever dealt well with his deeper emotions. He'd embarked on a desperate flirtation with Carter because he knew that it wouldn't go anywhere - Carter wasn't going to ruin her career for him - and pushed Daniel as far away as he could without actually losing Daniel completely.

Thankfully, he'd gotten his head out of his ass before it was too late. He had realized what he was doing to Daniel, to Carter, and to SG1.

It had taken some work to get Daniel over to his house to talk, but he had eventually convinced his friend that it was important.

//Daniel walked into the house looking like he'd rather be anywhere except in Jack's home. Normally, Jack would have made some crack about root canals but right now their friendship was far too shaky for Jack to risk levity. He wanted Daniel to know that he was taking this very seriously because, despite all recent evidence to the contrary, Daniel was important to him.

"I've got some of that wine that you like, Daniel. You know, that pinot grigio stuff. Have a seat on the couch and I'll bring out a glass."

"You don't have to..."

"I don't mind. I'll be back in a minute. Make yourself comfortable."

Jack headed into the kitchen once he was sure that Daniel had settled down on the couch.

After he poured the wine and got himself a beer he took a deep breath and headed back out to the living room. He handed the glass to Daniel and sat down on the edge of the chair opposite the couch. He would have preferred to be a little closer for this conversation but sitting on the coffee table would be too awkward and sitting on the couch with Daniel would have been too close.

He watched Daniel take a sip of the wine and then place the glass down on the coffee table. After saying, "thank you," Daniel leaned back. He opened his mouth as if to say something and then closed it again.

They were both quiet for a moment - feeling uncomfortable and nervous. Finally, Daniel broke the silence.

"Jack," Daniel shifted forward on the couch and looked up at Jack through his lashes, "why was it so important that I come over tonight?"

Jack leaned forward, placed his beer down on the coffee table and then responded to Daniel's question as he returned to his original position in the chair; "What, a guy can't ask his buddy over to hang out anymore?"

"Sure he can Jack. But that's not why you asked me over."

Jack jumped up out of his chair and strode over to the fireplace. When he reached it he turned around and angrily said, "What in the world makes you think that you know what my reasons are for doing anything? You may be my friend but you aren't inside my head."

"Maybe I should leave," Daniel replied and rose from the couch.

"No! Wait." Jack quickly walked over to where Daniel was standing and put his right hand on Daniel's left shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I don't want to fight with you anymore, Jack. I came here tonight because I wanted to find out why you can't seem to spend more than five minutes with me without yelling or insulting me. I want to know what happened to our friendship, but I won't stay here and be shouted at." However, Daniel didn't make any move to either shake off Jack's hand or leave the house.

"You're right. That is why I asked you over. I have some explaining to do...and some apologizing. Please, sit back down. Stay and hear me out?"

Daniel held Jack's eyes with his own for several seconds; obviously trying to assess Jack's sincerity. He apparently decided that Jack meant what he said because Daniel returned to his place on the couch. "So talk, Jack, I'm listening. What happened to us? Why did you pull away?"

Jack walked back over to the fireplace and leaned his shoulder against the mantle. He looked sideways at Daniel sitting perched on the edge of the couch. He knew that if he screwed this up he wasn't going to get another chance. Daniel might never put his trust in him again.

"Do you remember when Shifu showed up last year?" Jack snorted. "What am I saying? Of course you do. How could you forget? How could any of us forget?"

Jack paused for a moment and then resumed; "I watched you lying there in that hospital bed, unresponsive. Janet was unable to explain what was wrong, why you wouldn't wake up or even if you would wake up. I think that that was the moment when I finally admitted to myself that..." Jack went back to retrieve his beer, took a sip, and sat back down in the chair that he had recently vacated then continued speaking, "I cared a lot more for you than I should."

"Jack..."

"No. Don't interrupt. I need to say all of this now or I won't say it at all."

Daniel nodded his head, letting Jack know that he understood and signaled Jack to continue speaking.

"A lot more. So much more that if anyone found out about my feelings I'd be dishonorably discharged, because I'm in love with you."

Daniel's mouth dropped open and he gaped at Jack - shocked by what he'd heard.

Jack chuckled and said, "You look like a stranded carp, Daniel. I'll bet having your best friend, your male best friend, tell you that he's in love with you wasn't what you expected to hear tonight."

"No it wasn't. Jack, I..." Daniel began, only to be interrupted by Jack.

"I know that I've been a bastard to you since I realized how I felt." Jack leaned forward in the chair and continued speaking, "I just didn't know how to deal with it. I've never had these kinds of feelings for a man. And there were the added problems of whether you would be disgusted by the idea that a man wants to have sex with you and the knowledge that I could be thrown out of the service just for thinking about having a sexual relationship with a man."

"Jack, stop."

Daniel got up off the couch and crossed over to where Jack was sitting. He knelt down in front of Jack and, after Jack leaned back, put his hands on Jack's knees. He looked up at Jack and treated Jack to one of his rare smiles.

"I'm not disgusted by the idea of having sex with another man. Despite what everyone seems to think, I wasn't a virgin when Catherine recruited me, far from it.  I was sexually active in college and did a little experimenting. I've never been concerned with gender. But, even if I had never been with a man before I still wouldn't have been disgusted because I feel the same way Jack. I'm in love with you too. I have been for a while."

Momentarily stunned speechless, Jack just stared at Daniel before jumping up out of his chair. He would have knocked Daniel over if Daniel hadn't quickly shifted backwards out of his way. He began to pace agitatedly back and forth between the fireplace and the chair

Daniel stood up too and asked, "Jack, what wrong? I thought this would be good news."

"How could it be good news?! This was hard enough when I thought my feelings weren't returned."

Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and, frustration clear in his voice, replied, "How could this be worse? We both want the same thing. To be together. That's a good thing!"

Jack stopped pacing and looked at Daniel.

"We can't be together."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a colonel in the United States Air Force and fraternization, especially with a male colleague, is against the regs. I took an oath when I joined the service and I intend to keep it."

Daniel looked astounded; "You can't tell me that you have never violated Air Force regulations, Jack, because you have. When it's important enough."

"Well, maybe this just isn't important enough."

There was dead silence for a moment while Daniel absorbed the unintentional blow that Jack had just delivered. Daniel tightened the grip of his crossed arms, hugging himself. He and Jack locked gazes for several seconds but Jack neither spoke nor backed down. Finally, Daniel walked out of the room and then out of the house.

Jack walked over to the couch on shaky legs. He collapsed onto the cushion and buried his head in his hands.

What had he just done?//

Two years later he knew exactly what he had done; he'd let his fear ruin his last chance at happiness.

Part 1

(Four Months Later)

"Colonel, we found something you might want to see."

Jack turned to face Major Pierce. He had a feeling that this whole mission was a colossal waste of time. He'd felt that way from the moment Jonas had excitedly pitched the idea that this planet was the Lost City that had been written about on the tablet that Daniel had discovered on Abydos and finding a bunch of nomads cluttering up the place had only strengthened his opinion.

Although, it looked like he might have to revise his outlook since Pierce seemed to have found something important.

Pierce was standing just inside the entrance to the village that may or may not have once been the Lost City of the Ancients. As he watched, the rest of Pierce's SG team entered the village.

And a moment later a blue-robed figure stepped out from behind them. Jack couldn't believe his eyes. Standing right in front of them was Daniel, a man that Jack believed he would never see again.

Daniel and the SG team walked down the steps at the entrance to the village and moved towards SG1. Jack, Carter, and Teal'c moved to meet them halfway.

Jack couldn't help feeling that he had just been given an incredible gift. He had a second chance to make things right between the two of them. He might even have the incredible luck to finally claim the happiness he'd foolishly thrown away two and a half years ago.

His voice breaking with suppressed emotion, Jack addressed the apparition in front of him, "Daniel?"

One of the nomads standing behind Jack said, "Arrom."

Spinning around to look at the person that had spoken, Jack questioned the nomad's comment, "Arrom?" What the hell was "Arrom" supposed to mean? Did something smell bad? Jack surreptitiously sniffed his armpits.

"That's what we call him," another nomad artlessly responded. Oh! Arrom was a name. Arrom was Daniel's name. But, why would they call Daniel Arrom?

As if he had heard Jack's thoughts, the old storyteller, Shamda, explained that, "It means 'naked one'" to the members of SG1.

Naked One?! What the hell?! Jack turned back to face Daniel as another nomad added, "That's how we found him in the forest, two moons ago."

What in the hell had those glow worms done to Daniel after Abydos? If they hurt him in any way, Jack would...well Jack didn't know what he could possibly do to omnipotent beings but he'd think of something.

Jack watched Daniel while the nomad spoke. Daniel was looking over the members of SG1, apparently intrigued by their weapons and unusual clothing. He smiled inwardly, realizing that whatever had happened to Daniel, he hadn't lost his curiosity but...why would he be curious about them?

Jack was beginning to get the feeling that something was very wrong. Especially since Daniel hadn't said a word throughout the entire conversation. Daniel was never quiet when interacting with the natives. He loved to explain and show them what he had learned.

Obviously seeing how confused and alarmed Carter, Jack, and Teal'c were, despite or maybe because of the explanations offered by the nomads, Pierce explained further. "Seems he doesn't remember who he is."

Wait a minute. Amnesia?

Stricken, she broke off her sentence abruptly when Daniel coldly pushed away her hand.

Teal'c, surprised and upset by Daniel's reaction, attempted to get a response from the man in front of them. "Do you not recognize us DanielJackson?"

Finally, they got a response from Daniel but it certainly wasn't the kind of response that they wanted. He looked back and forth between Carter and Teal'c and then said, "I'm sorry," and quickly walked away.

He passed by Jack without even looking at him. Confused by Daniel's behavior, Jack turned to look at Carter, hoping for reassurance that everything would be all right. Or that Jack had hallucinated the whole bizarre conversation. But, unfortunately, Carter was as confused as Jack.

Jack turned back around to watch, with Teal'c, as Daniel continued to walk away from them.

This wasn't the way that their reunion was supposed to happen. Daniel was supposed to know who they were. He was supposed to be thrilled to see them. They were supposed to greet each other warmly. There might even be a hug or two.

Daniel was most definitely NOT supposed to stare at them blankly, give them the brush off, and then abandon them.

Daniel was his best friend. How could he possibly forget his best friend?! Daniel had to remember him.

Watching Daniel's back as he made a rapid retreat Jack shouted out, "Not even me?"

But Daniel barely twitched as he disappeared through a doorway.

The hell with this! Jack stalked after Daniel and started to follow him into one of the tents. He stopped suddenly, realizing that shouting at Daniel wasn't going to get him anywhere. Daniel might not remember who he was but Jack was willing to bet he was still, at his core, the same man he'd been before he'd had his memory wiped. And Daniel had always been one to dig his heels in deeper when other people, namely Jack, started yelling at him. However, Daniel could be very reasonable if you approached him logically.

After taking a moment to calm down and put his thoughts in some kind of order, Jack entered the tent.

Daniel heard him approach and after a quick look to see who had entered the tent, Daniel raised his arm as if to ward Jack off and mournfully requested, "Please leave me alone."

Jack ignored him and continued to walk into the tent. "I'm Jack O'Neill," he said as he slowly approached Daniel.

Daniel stared at Jack for a moment. Uncertain about what to do or say next, Jack kept quiet and hoped that something brilliant would come to him - or barring that that Daniel would help him out. And wasn't that a barrel of laughs; him waiting for the confused amnesiac over there to come up with the right way to handle this situation.

Jack leaned forward on his stool. "You were a member of my team, SG-1. You're a friend of mine. Last year, you died."

Daniel interrupted, skeptically asking, "I'm dead?"

Realizing how hard to believe his last statement was, Jack conceded, "Obviously not. You just sort of died." Daniel still didn't look convinced, in fact, he looked a bit like he was humoring a crazy old man. It was probably the same look he gave Proverb Man after listening to his weird stories. Unwilling to give up, Jack doggedly continued, "Actually, you...ascended to a higher plain of existence. Last time I saw you, you were helping us fight Anubis."

"Anubis?"

"Yeah, kind of an over-the-top, cliché bad guy. Black cloak, oily skin, kind of spooky." Jack paused to think about what he'd just said. He realized that if he was in Daniel's place he wouldn't believe any of it. It was like something out of a really bad sci-fi movie. The kind that those robots were always heckling on MST3K. Knowing that he had to keep trying, he shook his head, and finished his speech. "Anyway...obviously since then, you've retaken human form, somehow. I..." He stopped and shook his head again. This wasn't working. He was in a tail spin and heading straight for the ground without a hope in hell of bailing out. Daniel looked decidedly under whelmed by his powers of persuasion.

Jack made a valiant attempt. "Hey, why are any of us here?" Daniel looked away, apparently annoyed by Jack's flippant response.

Conceding defeat, Jack replied, "I don't know. That was generally your department."

Daniel shifted on his cushion so that Jack was looking mostly at Daniel's back. He was very obviously dismissing Jack, which really pissed him off.

He'd spent the past four months tearing himself apart with guilt for his part in Daniel's disappearance on Abydos and regret over the lost opportunities for the two of them. He unexpectedly found Daniel alive and well, apparently NOT dead or suffering, and instead of coming back home, where he belonged, Daniel decided to be pig headed about the whole thing and refuse to listen to reason.

Well, if Daniel was happy here in La La Land then that was just fine with him. Jack jumped up off of the stool and stalked angrily out of the tent.

He spotted Carter talking to some of the natives and headed in her direction. She saw him approach, wrapped up her conversation, and moved to meet him just outside the tent he had exited.

Jack was only partially aware of Carter's report. He heard enough to know that the situation was well in hand but his mind was mostly on his conversation with Daniel, if it could be called a conversation, because despite the fact that Daniel spoke he wasn't actually participating.

Carter excitedly explained, "Sir, we know someone who's ascended can choose to retake human form."

Sure, when Jack wasn't so busy reacting emotionally to Daniel behaving like an ass, he knew that ascended beings could descend. Orlin had done it but Orlin had remembered everything about his life before his descension. So, why didn't Daniel remember? After his recent encounter with Daniel he was thinking that the memory loss might be something that Daniel chose to do. He decided to ask Carter what her opinion was. "You think he also chose to forget everything?"

Carter shrugged. "Maybe the part about his memory isn't voluntary. Who knows? Maybe the whole thing is punishment for trying to help us. He did say he was breaking some pretty big rules."

That made sense. Although, it didn't explain why Daniel was so determined to not remember nor did it help them decide what to do next. As much as he wanted to, he didn't think that they could just drag Daniel back to Earth against his will. Hopefully Carter had an idea, because if one of them didn't come up with a way to get Daniel to come back voluntarily they just might have to resort to dragging him back home. Leaving Daniel here was NOT an option. "So...what?"

After thinking for a moment Carter said, "It's gonna take some time to search the entire extent of the ruins. There could be weapons or a power source hidden just about anywhere. In the mean time, we try to help Daniel remember...if that's even possible."

"Tag...you're it."

**@@~~@@**

Sam had been excited and awed from the first moment she had seen Daniel. When he stepped out in front of Pierce's team...She had never been very spiritual but at moments like these she wanted to get down on her knees and thank whatever higher power was watching out for Daniel.

He was no longer an energy being that could look human. He was alive.

Some of her excitement had ebbed when Daniel had pushed her away earlier. It was difficult to handle not being able to touch her friend. Even when their relationship was at its most distant she had always been able to reach out to him. But she understood his reaction. They were strangers to him and Daniel had never been comfortable with people touching him. Physical contact was something he only accepted from his friends.

It was obvious that the Colonel wasn't handling Daniel's standoffishness well. The two of them had always been close. Closer than they should have been considering how little they seemed to have in common. But they had always managed to make their friendship work. Even when they were at each other's throats there was an underlying affection.

Daniel looking right through them was painful for her and Teal'c but it must have been devastating for Jack because other than Teal'c, Daniel was the Colonel's only real friend and was probably the only confidant that he had. She had always relied on Daniel more than anyone else but at least she had Janet and her Dad.

She would have thought that if anyone could convince Daniel to come back to Earth with them it would have been the Colonel but then again he was better at letting his actions do his talking for him.

Daniel was probably scared and uncertain right now. This place was the only thing familiar to him. He needed gentle persuasion.

He needed a woman's touch. And she was that woman.

When she reached the tent she ducked her head inside and asked, "Can I come in?"

Daniel looked up at her and after taking a moment to blow out a candle that he had just lit - a nervous gesture? He responded, "Sure."

Sam noticed the lack of enthusiasm in his tone but decided to ignore it. She had gotten his permission to enter after all. She walked closer to him and debated about where to sit. She finally decided to sit on the floor close to Daniel. As she sat she said, "So..."

Daniel glanced at Sam and then quickly looked away before asking, "What did you say your name was again?"

Sam was uncertain as to why Daniel was asking for her name. She hoped that it was a good sign. He was obviously curious about her, right? She decided to just follow Daniel's lead, since it had always worked before.

In a sullen tone, Daniel said, "Yeah, well, like I already told Jim..."

"Uh, Jack."

"Jack?" he asked and then rolled his eyes uninterested in the name of the person he had talked to earlier. She could almost hear the "whatever" that his body language was conveying. "Yeah, I told him."

This whole attitude was something that she had never seen from Daniel before. No matter how dire the circumstances were Daniel always had hope. Right now he seemed...beaten down - like he had given up. Why? "I guess what I don't understand is why you aren't dying to know all about who you are."

Annoyed and confused Sam came back with, "See, it's the not part..."

But Daniel interrupted her before she could finish. "What if I don't like who I was? What if I don't want to be that person? What if I don't have it in me to make up for something I've done wrong?"

After he finished speaking he looked fully at Sam for the first time. Was he hoping that she would be able to convince him that he was wrong? She knew that Daniel often felt things more keenly than the rest of them. He took every mistake and failure personally. But, in her eyes Daniel was one of the most compassionate and decent people that she had ever known. He had always judged himself more harshly than anyone else did.

Daniel looked optimistic for the first time since they had found him. He smiled slightly and softly replied, "Well, that doesn't sound so bad."

Sam smiled. Finally! She was beginning to make some progress. After deciding what she should say next she continued, "If you had one fault, it was that you wanted to save people so badly, y-you wanted to help people so much, that it tore you apart when you couldn't make a difference."

It was the wrong thing to say because Daniel was beginning to look skeptical again. He shook his head and said, "That actually sounds kind of hard to live up to."

Frustrated Sam tried another tack, "All I know is that if I were you, I would definitely want to get to know me...you."

Deciding now was the best time for the hard sell, she ardently persisted, "Come back with us. Let us show you who you are instead of just telling you."

Sam realized that she hadn't gotten through to Daniel after all when he said, "I'll think about it," and lowered his head again, refusing to look at her.

She shook her head and said, "Okay," as she stood up to leave. She may not have convinced him this time but she wasn't going to give up. She'd come back later and try again. Or maybe Teal'c could try. He was Daniel friend too. Maybe Teal'c knew the right thing to say to persuade Daniel. Especially, since he'd been getting all that practice inspiring the Jaffa to rebel against the Goa'uld.

She had reached the entrance to the tent and was just about to leave when she heard Daniel call her name. She turned back around and said, "Yeah?"

She realized that she might have been a little... fawning in her description of Daniel's many remarkable qualities when she heard him say, "Was there ever anything...between us?"

A dozen thoughts raced through her mind in a split second. She thought about her relationship with Daniel and the closeness that they had always shared. She thought about how much he meant to her and how much she had missed him. She thought about possibilities. What would it have been like if she and Daniel had been lovers? She had to admit that she had wondered. How could she not when she had seen the depths of his devotion to Sha're? What would it be like to be the focus of that love?

She looked over at Daniel sitting in the dark. She knew that she hadn't convinced him to return with them. He was as stubborn and passionate as ever and she was willing to bet that he was still the same man he had been before they lost him. He might be able to walk away from strangers claiming that they were his friends but he would never abandon someone he had pledged himself to.

"Yes."

Daniel rose from where he was sitting and quickly moved over to where Sam was standing. He came to a sudden stop when he was an arm's length away. He looked uncertain and upset and Sam was beginning to wonder if she had made a mistake. What had she been thinking? She had just lied to him.

"I'm so sorry. The things that I said and did...I must have hurt you. Forgive me," he entreated.

"Oh, Daniel, there's nothing to forgive. I know that you would never deliberately hurt me." Sam reached out to him again and this time he met her halfway. He took hold of her hand in his and gently squeezed it.

"I don't remember you. I don't remember us. I've tried but it's all a complete blank."

"Come back home with us. Maybe familiar surroundings and people will help you to remember. There are a lot of people back home who have missed you and will be so happy to have you back. Please, Daniel, come home."

Sam felt her heart breaking when Daniel said, "I can't..."

"Yes! You can, Daniel..."

Daniel cut her off. "No. You don't understand. I'll come back with you. It's the right thing to do. I have to do everything that I can to remember. Maybe I've felt so guilty because I left you. Maybe that's what was eating away at me. But, I can't be who I was before. I can't be what I was to you. Do you understand? It might be easier for you if I never came back."

Sam tightened her grip on his hand. "No, it won't. Nothing could be harder than living without you. I'll settle for friends. I just want you in my life again. I missed you so much."

She felt the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes but she wasn't embarrassed. This was Daniel. She could trust him to understand.

Daniel reached out with his unoccupied hand and swiped his thumb across her cheekbone. "I can understand why I fell in love with you." He offered her a soft smile and she returned it with one of her own.

"Let's go home," he said quietly.

"Yes," she replied.

Part 2

Hammond's heart was pounding in his chest and it was only 40 years of military discipline and training that kept him from shifting impatiently and grinning like a loon.

Their boy was coming home.

Dr. Jackson had pulled off another miracle and returned from the dead. He wasn't really surprised anymore. In fact, he almost expected it.

It certainly justified his decision to declare Daniel MIA rather than dead. Saved a lot of paperwork too.

At that moment the last chevron locked into place and a split second later the wormhole exploded outward in a rush of liquid that was sucked back into a calm puddle of glowing blue.

A few seconds later even 40 years of discipline and training couldn't keep the smile off of his face as SG1 stepped out of the event horizon.

Quinn and Teal'c stepped through first. They were followed by Carter and then Daniel. Jack stepped through last.

Hammond took one look at his 2IC's face and knew that something was very wrong. Jack wore a fierce scowl that was directed at Major Carter's back.

Hammond sighed. Nothing was ever easy or straightforward when SG1 was involved.

Quietly, some of his enthusiasm dampened by worry, Hammond said, "Welcome home SG1." His eyes focused on Daniel. "Dr. Jackson," he said in a voice filled with warmth. "It's good to have you back."

Daniel was looking around the gateroom. Startled, he looked over at Hammond. "Um...It's good to be back...I think. I just wish that I could remember..."

"We understand, Son." He looked behind him and signaled Dr. Frasier to step forward. "This is Dr. Frasier. She's the Chief Medical Officer here."

The petite doctor smiled gently at Daniel. "Why don't come with me to the infirmary? We'd like to run a few tests and make sure that there isn't a medical reason for your amnesia."

Daniel frowned. "What if there is...something wrong with me?"

"Then we'll fix it," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Just like that?" Daniel asked with the beginning of a smile.

"Just like that," Janet responded as she led Daniel out of the room.

Once they had passed out of sight, Hammond turned back to face the members of SG1. Jack was staring at the doorway that Dr. Frasier and Daniel had just passed through with an indecipherable look on his face.

Something was definitely going on here.

"SG1. Briefing Room. Now." He turned and walked away - certain that they would follow.

Once he reached the Briefing Room he stepped inside at sat down at the head of the conference table. Teal'c settled regally into the seat to his right and Jonas sat down in the chair on his left.

Sam entered the room and after, a moments hesitation, opted for the chair next to Jonas.

Jack was the last to enter. He stalked into the room and dropped into the seat next to Teal'c.

He noticed Jonas flick his eyes nervously from Jack to Sam and back again after they both sat down.

Hammond took a moment to study the four people in front of him and wondered what the problem was. Teal'c was as inscrutable as ever but Jonas looked as edgy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Sam looked like a guilty child waiting for her punishment. And Jack...Jack looked like a claymore waiting to go off in someone's face.

"What in the hell is going on here." He turned to face Jack. "Colonel, you want to explain?"

"Explain what?"

"Colonel," Hammond sharply replied.

"I think that Carter best explain this one, Sir," Jack said and glared at the major.

"Well, someone better explain your attitudes real quick. Major?"

Carter visibly straightened in her seat and looked remarkably like a prisoner about to be executed.

"Sir," she began and then paused. "Daniel was reluctant to return with us through the Stargate, Sir. Apparently he was concerned that his arrival on P4T-3G6 was due to his being banished for some reason. We...uh...Colonel O'Neill and I both tried to convince him to come back with us but he was resistant. I..." Carter stopped speaking and looked warily at Jack and then continued speaking. "I told him that we...that is...he and I had been involved in a romantic relationship." When she finished speaking, she clenched her jaw and braced herself for what was about to happen.

Hammond was momentarily rendered speechless. He never suspected that the problem facing his best team was something like this.

Some days he really wished that he'd retired years ago. He could have been relaxing at home right now or spending time with his family. Instead he was here - presiding over what was shaping up to be an encounter session.

"Major," he began. "Why..."

"Yes, Major, please tell us. Why did you sucker Daniel into believing that the two of you were screwing?" Jack angrily demanded.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c reprimanded and Jack looked at him out of the corner of his eye before returning his attention to Carter without showing any hint of remorse for his verbal attack.

"I didn't 'sucker' Daniel into anything." Sam angrily responded.

"Then how the hell would you describe lying to him?" Jack volleyed back.

"I was trying to convince him to come back with us."

"Is that what you were thinking?" Jack scoffed. "I would have guessed that you weren't thinking at all."

"It worked didn't it? He's here now. We've gotten him back."

"Yup, we've gotten him back," Jack sneered at Sam, "only now he thinks that he's forgotten all about the woman that he left behind. It's probably eating away at him. How someone so smart could do something so asinine is..."

"Enough!"

Jack stopped talking abruptly when Hammond spoke and everyone in the room shifted their attention away from the two combatants and onto Hammond.

"You are officers in the United States Air Force and I expect you to conduct yourselves as such. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," Sam replied.

"Colonel," Hammond barked at Jack when he didn't get an immediate response.

Jack focused his eyes on a point just beyond Hammond's right shoulder and finally replied, "Understood, General."

"Good. Now, it makes no difference why Major Carter made the decision that she did. The fact remains that Dr. Jackson is back home where he belongs." He focused his attention on Carter. "This misunderstanding needs to be cleared up, Major."

"I know, sir," Carter responded promptly. "I intend to tell him. Permission to go to the infirmary?"

"Permission denied, Major."

Confused, Sam asked, "Sir?"

"I think that Dr. Jackson's been through enough right now. He doesn't need to find out that he was convinced to come back here under false pretenses just yet. Give him some time to adjust first."

Hammond looked over at Jack. He was willing to cut Jack a little slack because of the strong friendship that the two men shared. Daniel's loss had been harder on Jack than on anyone else and finding his friend resurrected but without any recollection of any of them had to be painful.

"Colonel, why don't you head down to the infirmary? When Dr. Frasier's done with her examination you can escort him to the VIP room that we prepared for him."

"Yes, sir. Thank you," Jack replied. After one last dark look at Carter he spun around and stalked out of the room.

Hammond looked over the three people remaining. Carter was obviously distressed but was trying not to show it. Jonas looked confused and nervous. Even Teal'c was looking a little disconcerted. Hammond said, "Dismissed," and watched them leave the room one by one.

As soon as he was alone, he sighed.

Maybe it wasn't too late to retire?

**@@~~@@**

Jack stalked down the corridor after exiting the elevator and on his way to the infirmary. He was furious - spitting nails, time bomb waiting to explode, take a rifle up to the clock tower enraged. He honestly couldn't remember ever being this angry before. Oh, there had been anger over Charlie's death but mostly what he had felt then was guilt and anguish.

How dare she do this? She had no right. If anyone was going to pretend to be Daniel's lover it should have been him. He was the one that Daniel had wanted. What Carter had done was foolish, deceitful, immoral...and why the hell hadn't he thought of it?

He stopped walking and slammed the heel of his hand against the wall. Then, he swore loudly and cradled his now throbbing hand against his chest.

After a moment he resumed walking. That had been stupid. He was behaving like an asshole and he needed to calm down before he reached the infirmary. Daniel wasn't going to be very impressed with him if he was behaving like a raving maniac and he wanted Daniel to be impressed with him. He wanted Daniel to trust him. Hell, he wanted Daniel to remember his name!

He paused outside the entrance to the infirmary and took a moment to pull himself together. He didn't know what to do or how to act. Behind those closed doors was Daniel, his best friend and the man that he loved, the man that didn't have any idea who he was. Daniel wouldn't be his Daniel again until he got his memory back and he would get it back - he had to.

He couldn't do this without Daniel anymore. This past year had proved it. The only reason why he hadn't just walked away from everything was because Daniel wouldn't have wanted him to quit. Daniel would have wanted to know that his friends were still out there fighting the good fight and protecting the galaxy from the Goa'uld.   

Well, now Daniel was back. Jack had a second chance and this time he wasn't going to make the same mistakes that he had before. He wouldn't let his fear hold him back.

It was going to be alright.

And if he told himself that often enough he just might start to believe it.

Taking a deep breath he walked into the infirmary. Dr. Fraiser was just finishing her examination of Daniel when he entered. She glanced over at him for a moment when he arrived but Daniel didn't appear to have taken notice of his presence so he leaned against the door frame for a moment and made use of the opportunity to get a good look at Daniel.

Twelve months on a higher plane of existence seemed to have been beneficial for Daniel. He looked younger and even with the uncertainty and confusion caused by his memory loss he looked calmer than he'd been in the months before his ascension. Although, that might have more to do with the fact that he couldn't remember all the terrible and painful events from his years with the Stargate Program.

Was he being selfish? Would Daniel be better off if he never had to remember his painful past?

No. Daniel wouldn't be happy living in a constant state of uncertainty. Daniel would want to remember his friends and his family. He would want to remember Sha're and keep her alive in his heart.

His thoughts were interrupted when Fraiser spoke, "Well, I'm happy to say, sir, that he's in perfect health, except for one small exception." She smiled and pulled a pair of glasses out of the pocket of her lab coat. She presented them to Daniel with a flourish and he slipped them out of her hand. After examining them for a moment he unfolded the arms and slid them onto his face with instinctive ease.

Daniel blinked a couple times and looked around the room. "Wow, that's different," he said. Jack smiled at Daniel's reaction.

Half joking and half serious, Jack assumed a hopeful, eager expression and asked, "You recognize me now?" He smiled a bit maniacally trying very hard not to put too much hope into the unlikely possibility that being able to see him clearly would cause Daniel's memory to come flooding back.

Daniel looked over at Jack. He focused his attention fully on Jack, causing Jack's heart to beat a little faster and his breathing to stutter briefly - being the focus of those intense blue-eyes always had that affect on him. Examining Jack, he asked thoughtfully, "has your hair always been that way?"

"What way?" He responded immediately. What was wrong with his hair?  

With a sweetly grave expression Daniel replied, "Never mind." But Jack saw the twinkle in Daniel's eyes and with those two words Jack felt better than he had since realizing that Daniel had amnesia. Even without all of his memories he still felt comfortable enough with Jack to tease him - something that he hadn't done with anyone else. It was going to be all right. They were going to be alright.

Daniel had fallen in love with him once and Jack was now sure that he could win Daniel's heart again.

He'd make sure of it.

**End**