Human Contact by zoodenizen

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

Curled up on the couch in his darkened apartment, Daniel ignored the pounding on his door.

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

He knew who it was.

There was a part of him that was grateful to know that Jack cared enough to come after him. But the rest of him just wanted to be left alone. The rest of him remembered being left behind in that padded cell by all his friends, including Jack.

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

"I know you're in there, Daniel. I'm not going away until you open this door. Sooner or later you're going to get tired of listening to the pounding."

Daniel knew that he was right. Eventually he'd give in, if only to keep the neighbors from calling the police.

But not yet.

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

"Daniel!"

Daniel scrubbed his hands over his face and climbed off of the couch. For a moment he stood in place and tried to decide if he was going to open the front door or retreat into his bedroom.

He smiled grimly. Maybe he could do both? No. He couldn't. Jack would just resume his pounding on Daniel's bedroom door. Jack was determined to have a confrontation tonight and Daniel wasn't going to escape unless he fled over the balcony. He looked down at his clothing and decided that navy colored flannel pajama bottoms and a grey t-shirt weren't appropriate attire for escaping over walls. Besides, he didn't have enough blankets to tie together as a rope.

He sighed and walked over to the door.

::Bang:: ::Bang:: ::Bang::

"Daniel! Open this door!"

Daniel unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door open. Without inviting Jack in or even waiting for Jack to enter Daniel walked back into his apartment. He headed into the kitchen; if he was going to deal with Jack he was going to need some coffee as fortification.

He sensed, more than heard, Jack follow him into the kitchen. As he measured out the grounds, poured them into the coffee maker, and got two mugs down from the cupboard he waited for Jack to say something. But Jack stayed silent.

When he'd finished he turned to face Jack. Leaning back against the counter, arms crossed in front of his chest, he said, "If you're waiting for me to talk, you're waiting in vain. I didn't invite you here. I want to be left alone. If you have something to say then say it. Or leave."

Jack was standing just inside the kitchen. He was wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, and his leather jacket. He looked uncomfortable and unhappy.

Daniel was slightly ashamed of the mean thrill that he got from knowing that Jack was suffering in some small way.

Jack waved his hands vaguely in front of him, at a loss for words. Daniel knew that talking wasn't Jack's forte but for once Daniel wasn't going to make this easy for him. Jack could talk or he could leave and Daniel knew damn well which option he preferred.

Jack shook his head and then turned away. He headed back into the front room and removed his jacket. He dumped it onto the couch and without turning back around to face Daniel he said, "I'm sorry."

"I know." But this time sorry wasn't enough. If he hadn't put everything together all on his own he could have spent the next decade, or more, locked away in a mental hospital. They had all been far too quick to believe that he was nuts. They'd never really given him the benefit of the doubt, just humored him while they made arrangements for his own private protected room surrounded by men in white coats.

He couldn't help thinking that if it had been anyone else - Sam or Teal'c - anyone at all, there would have been a lot more effort put into finding out what alien influence was possibly causing his problems.

But instead he'd quickly been bundled off to the Funny Farm because, after all, he was "flaky on a good day."

When Jack winced he realized that he had said that last bit out loud and didn't have it in him to be sorry.

He turned to pour the freshly brewed coffee into a mug. He twisted slightly to see Jack out of the corner of his eye and asked, "Do you want some?"

"Yea, sure," Jack replied.

Daniel poured coffee into the other mug and, with a mug in each hand, walked into his front room. He placed Jack's mug down on the coffee table, unwilling to get to close to Jack tonight.

"We made a mistake Daniel," Jack began only to be interrupted by Daniel.

"A mistake that you wouldn't have made with anyone else. At least not without trying a hell of a lot harder to find some other explanation. What was it? Twelve hours? Less? From the time that I first started hallucinating till the time I found myself drugged to the gills in a small, white, padded box? Tell me that if Sam was the one seeing wormholes in her closet that all of you wouldn't have spent , oh, at least, one  day searching for some outside influence."

"If Sam had been the one affected then she would have had you fighting for her. You're the most tenacious man that I have ever met. You would have made sure that she didn't get hustled off to the mental ward. I'm sorry Daniel." He looked over at Daniel. "I'm sorry that we didn't handle this right. I'm sorry that we abandoned you too quickly. And I'm sorry that we were so quick to accept Dr. Mackenzie's diagnosis. We were...I was..."

Jack shifted uncomfortably and then moved around the arm of the couch to collapse down on one of its cushions.

Daniel moved to sit on the couch opposite Jack and placed his own mug down on the coffee table.

"I was scared Daniel. You're my best friend and someone that I rely on. Seeing you like that...I didn't know how to handle it. I know that I made the wrong choices but at the time...How was I supposed to know that Mackenzie was a quack? I made a mistake but I'd like to think that coming when you called and listening to you should count for something."

Daniel sighed. "It does, Jack. It means a lot."

Jack shifted forward onto the edge of his seat. "Talk to me, Daniel. Tell me that we can work this out."

Daniel pulled his legs up under him and leaned back. He rubbed his hands over his thighs a few times, unaware of Jack's eyes following the movement, and then rested his hands on his knees.

"Everything was all confused in my head. I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I was trying desperately to fight my way clear and it was terrifying to feel myself slipping away little by little. The one constant in my life had always been my ability to reason and understand. For the first time in my life I couldn't save myself. I needed my friends' help more than I ever had before because I was unable to help myself. Only..."

"We weren't there. We didn't help you; we left you to sink or swim all on your own."

Tears swimming in his eyes Daniel said, "I needed you, Jack, and you weren't there."

Jack jumped off of the couch and rushed over to Daniel. He dropped down next to his friend and pulled Daniel into his arms. "I'm here now, Danny. I've got you."

Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack and held him tight, taking comfort from his friend's closeness. He was glad now that Jack had insisted on being here tonight. This is what he had needed all along.

He'd been alone for so long. He'd forgotten the comfort to be found in simple human contact. He wasn't going to forgive or forget any of this very easily but Jack had been there for him in the end. If Jack hadn't listened to him and taken a chance then Daniel would have been trapped in a drugged oblivion for God only knows how long.

In the end he had been able to count on Jack.

He burrowed deeper into Jack's arms and felt Jack's grip tighten even more. Despite everything, he had known that he could trust Jack. They had been through a lot together - danger, addiction, death and loss - and they'd been able to rely on each other.

Jack had trusted Daniel enough to do something that he had never done before. He had exposed his deepest, innermost feelings to Daniel. He told Daniel things about himself and his life that he hadn't revealed to his closest friends.

In return, Daniel found that he opened up to Jack in ways that he had never been able to open up with anyone else. Even Sha're. Because, as much as they loved each other, there was so much about his life that she just couldn't understand and so much about her life that he couldn't understand.

Who would have thought that an Air Force Colonel and a civilian archeologist could find so much common ground? Over the past two years Jack had become very important to Daniel. He could no longer picture his life without Jack and that scared him a little. What would happen if - no, when - they rescued Sha're? How would Jack fit into his life then?

He knew that nothing would ever be the same. He wasn't the same person that he had been two years ago and neither was Sha're. She had suffered through so much. Would she still love him? Would he still love her?

Abruptly he pulled out of Jack's arms and reached for his lukewarm coffee. He gulped some of the liquid down anyway because he needed to do something to stop his mind from dwelling on things that he couldn't change - things that would only succeed in making him feel even more depressed than he was already.

Jack shifted on the couch so that he could cup his hand over Daniel's upper arm. "Daniel?"

"I'm fine," he replied, knowing darn well that Jack wasn't going to believe that for a single second.

"Daniel, you'd say that you were fine even if you'd been decapitated."

Daniel looked at Jack out of the corner of his eye and smirked. "I couldn't say anything without a head, Jack."

Jack smirked back and patted Daniel's shoulder. "You'd find a way, Dannyboy. You always seem to manage the impossible."

Daniel suddenly jerked away from Jack's touch and leapt off of the couch. "Not always," he quietly responded, his eyes once more filled with tears.

Jack rose up from the couch and reached out to Daniel. Somehow understanding exactly what was bothering Daniel, like always, he said, "We'll get her back, Daniel. I promise you."

Daniel stepped back, out of Jack's reach. "Don't say that. You can't promise that we'll save her you don't know."

Daniel wrapped his arms around himself. "It hurts, Jack, every time that we come so close but still fail. It hurts so much."

Jack closed the distance between them and, once again, pulled Daniel into his arms. Daniel was stiff and resistant for a moment and then just let go - trusting Jack.

Jack slid one hand into Daniel's hair and stroked the other up and down Daniel's back. "I know how hard it is. Remember that you're not alone, Daniel. I'm here for you. I'll always be here whenever you need me."

Daniel pulled back slightly to look into Jack's eyes. He could see the sincerity there and something else...something that looked like...love.

Without thinking, some unknown impulse moved him to lean forward and brush his lips across Jack's.

Shocked, Jack stopped stroking Daniel's back. "Daniel? What..."

"No, don't talk. Jack, please. I need..." But he never finished his sentence because Jack closed the distance between them and this time Jack was the one to initiate a kiss.

Unlike the hesitant brush of lips that Daniel instigated, this kiss was deep and certain.

Jack broke off the kiss just long enough to remove Daniel's glasses and toss them onto the couch behind them. Then, once again, warm moist lips pressed against his. "God, Daniel, tell me that I'm not taking advantage of you."

Daniel licked his lips, tasting Jack; he blinked and leaned in close. With his lips touching Jack's he asked, "Do you want to take advantage of me?"

Jack raised one hand and slid his palm up Daniel's jaw line and once again cupped the back of Daniel's head. Without moving his mouth off of Daniel's he whispered, "Yes."

Daniel smiled and then replied with a devouring kiss. Eventually he pulled away, breathless, and said, "I want you."

"You've got me," Jack responded and then leaned in for another kiss. He slid his hand, the one that wasn't in Daniel's short hair, under Daniel's shirt to reach the warm skin at the small of Daniel's back.

Daniel slid his hands up Jack's arms, locked his arms around Jack's neck, and pulled their straining bodies close together.

As soon as their bodies were pressed tightly together, Jack shifted away from Daniel's mouth and trailed his lips along Daniel's jaw then continued his path down the side of Daniel's neck to the point where neck and shoulder met. Daniel tilted his head to give Jack better access and moaned out Jack's name. He'd wanted this for so long, longed to feel Jack's hands and mouth moving over his body just like this.

Jack nuzzled under the collar of Daniel's shirt and lightly nipped at Daniel's collar bone.

Emboldened, Daniel slid his hands down Jack's back and pulled Jack's shirt out of his pants. They separated momentarily so that Daniel could yank Jack's shirt up and off of his body.

They closed the gap between them, mouth to mouth, tongues dueling. Daniel pressed his palms against Jack's shoulders loving the feel of warm satin skin. He rubbed his palms down over Jack's upper chest and smoothed his thumbs over Jack's nipples. This time Jack was the one to moan. Pulling away from Daniel's mouth Jack, in a rough voice filled with arousal, said, "Off."

Dazed, Daniel asked, "What?"

Jack thrust his hands under Daniel's shirt. "This," he responded, "Off." Then he recaptured Daniel's mouth.

When they broke apart to breathe Jack took the opportunity to remove Daniel's t-shirt exposing creamy, flawless skin. Running his eyes over Daniel's upper body, Jack breathed out, "God, Daniel, you are so beautiful."

Eyes locked on Jack's body, Daniel responded, "So are you." Jack was beautiful - strong and lean, Daniel could see his muscles moving under tanned skin...Beautiful was right.

Daniel licked his lips and Jack groaned. Eyes focused on Daniel's talented mouth, Jack said, "Let's take this to the bedroom."

Daniel nodded his agreement and then dove back in for another kiss. With hands stroking over every inch of available skin and with mouths and bodies fused together, they stumbled across Daniel's apartment and into the bedroom.

They continued across the bedroom until they reached the step leading up to Daniel's bed. Jack's heels connected with the step and he fell backwards onto the bed. Daniel was pulled down on top of him because neither one of them was willing to let go of the other.

They broke off their kiss and Daniel chuckled. Jack bared his teeth in a feral smile and then rolled them until Daniel was underneath him.

Jack laced his fingers with Daniel's and positioned their hands on either side of Daniel's head. Then he began to kiss his way along Daniel's throat and down over his chest until he reached Daniel's right nipple.

He swiped his tongue across it and then sucked it into his mouth.

Daniel arched his back and flexed his hands. It felt so good but he wanted to touch Jack too. "Jack, please!" He wanted to feel Jack's skin sliding under his fingertips and learn how he tasted.

Jack ignored his plea and switched to the other nipple bringing it to aching hardness. Daniel moaned when Jack bit down on the pebbled flesh and licked across the hardened nub. Eventually Jack shifted back up for another breathtaking kiss.

It felt so good to be touched like this. It had been so long. But he needed more. "Pants," he gasped out when Jack finally released his mouth.

Jack nipped Daniel's chin and said, "Don't move."

He waited until Daniel nodded and then released Daniel's hands. He sat up, quickly kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his jeans. He stood up and removed both his jeans and his boxers in one swift move.

Jack turned back to Daniel and stood next to the bed for a moment, his eyes devouring Daniel's supine form. Daniel's eyes took in every inch of Jack, stopping at his fully erect manhood. If Daniel had had any doubts about how much Jack wanted him then that one look dispelled them all.

Daniel lifted his gaze back to Jack's face and then reached out towards Jack. "Come here."

Jack climbed back onto the bed and grabbed the hem of Daniel's pajama bottoms. He quickly pulled the pants down over Daniel's hips and, when Daniel arched up, slid them down and off of Daniel's body.

He ran his hands over Daniel's long legs and then up across his inner thighs. Daniel spread his legs, giving Jack better access. Jack leaned down and blew onto Daniel's erect penis. The sensation of warm air moving across his erection caused Daniel to cry out and buck his hips off the bed.

Jack wrapped one hand around the base of Daniel's penis and began to stoke up and down.

Daniel was moaning continuously now and he reached out to touch Jack, scraping his blunt nails down Jack's back. Jack moaned and then leaned down and swallowed Daniel whole.

Daniel shouted out, "Jack," and bucked his hips again. Expecting it, Jack rode out the motion and then braced his hands on Daniel's hips to hold him down.

Jack swirled his tongue around Daniel's aching flesh and then began to move his mouth up and down, carefully using his teeth to heighten the pleasure. Daniel felt like his whole body was on fire. When Jack deep throated Daniel and then swallowed, Daniel cried out in ecstasy and exploded.

Reality receded momentarily and when Daniel regained awareness Jack was braced above him.

Daniel reared up and did his best to suck Jack's tonsils out.

He wrapped his arms around Jack's lower back and pulled Jack down on top of him. He then hooked one leg over Jack's and clamped his hands onto Jack's ass cheeks. He kneaded the taut skin for a moment enjoying the feel of Jack's warm, muscled flesh.

He began to move under Jack and used his grip on Jack's ass to encourage Jack to move as well.

Jack got the message and began to thrust against Daniel, using the friction created by their sweat slick bodies moving in tandem to bring himself closer to orgasm. Daniel watched Jack, entranced by the lost, effortful look on his face. He was doing this to Jack. Daniel was the one turning him on this powerfully.

At that moment Jack arched his back, his hips jerked hard against Daniel, and then Daniel felt the pulses of warm, sticky fluid on his stomach and chest as Jack shouted out Daniel's name.

Jack collapsed down on top of Daniel and he gladly accepted his lover's weight. Worn out and crashing, Daniel languidly trailed one hand up and down Jack's spine feeling Jack's shuddering breath as it slowly evened out.

Jack lifted his head and pressed a kiss against Daniel's chest, directly over Daniel's heart. He stroked the back of his right hand along the side of Daniel's face.

"That's nice," Daniel breathed out.

Jack smiled and rolled off of Daniel and then started to get up off of the bed.

Daniel frowned and asked, "Jack? Where're you goin'?"

Jack looked back at Daniel and reassured him, "I'll be right back."

Daniel sighed and, already half asleep, he closed his eyes and quietly replied, "Okay."

A few moments later he felt the bed dip because of Jack's return and then something warm and wet sliding over his stomach. He opened one eye and watched Jack wiping a washcloth over his skin.

"Mmm. Feels good," he said and closed his eye.

He heard Jack chuckle and the rough cloth stopped moving on his skin. The bed shifted again when Jack got up and he drifted until he felt Jack return.

Jack tugged the sheets out from under Daniel's inert body and then slipped back into the bed next to him.

Jack pulled the blankets over the two of them and Daniel rolled over against him. When Jack wrapped his arms around Daniel, Daniel snuggled in close with his head resting on Jack's upper chest and quickly drifted of to sleep.

~~**~~

Daniel shifted in the bed as he slowly came back to awareness. He felt good, relaxed in a way that he hadn't been since...well, since Sha're was taken.

More awake now, he became aware of the fact that he wasn't alone in his bed. He was currently lying draped over a warm, hard body. Almost instantly everything from the night before came flooding back into his mind. He jerked upright and looked down at Jack.

What had he done?

Jack grunted and rolled from his back onto his side without waking. Daniel let out a shuddering breath when he realized that Jack wasn't going to wake up just yet.

Daniel looked over at the clock, noting that it was a little after seven in the morning, as he carefully eased out of the bed. He wasn't ready to face Jack right now.

Grabbing his discarded pajama bottoms he headed for the bathroom. He walked in and closed and locked the door before he flicked on the light.

After pulling on his pants he moved over in front of the sink and braced his arms against its surface. He looked at his reflection in the mirror absently noting that his inner turmoil wasn't reflected in the blank expression of the face staring back at him.

He'd cheated on his wife with his best friend.

Was there a special level of hell for that sin or was he already living his punishment?

Last night he had allowed his loneliness and desperation to overcome his conscience. He wasn't sure if the worst part was his unfaithfulness or the fact that he couldn't bring himself to be sorry that it had happened.

He'd been attracted to Jack almost from the beginning but Jack was straight and he quickly fell head over heels in love with Sha're - beautiful, feisty, quick witted Sha're.

He smiled as he relived the memories of those first few days. They had been so happy until he had reopened the Stargate and lost everything.

Dour, depressed Jack hadn't stood a chance back then but now...now Jack was Daniel's rock, his best friend, and the one person that he trusted and depended on - no matter what.

He loved Sha're.

But he loved Jack too.

He never, not in a million years, would have thought that Jack would be interested in him. Hell, he never could have imagined that Jack would be interested in any man.

Daniel looked over in the direction of the bathroom door, and the bedroom where Jack still slept, with a thoughtful look on his face.

Apparently he was wrong on both counts. What happened last night wasn't a pity fuck. Jack wanted him. Maybe, Jack even loved him.

He sighed, uncertain about what to do. Where did this leave them? He knew that he couldn't - wouldn't - just forget this. He didn't want to forget but he couldn't begin a new relationship with Jack while his beloved Sha're was still out there suffering at the hands of Apophis and Amaunet.

What was he going to do?

When he stepped out of the bathroom a couple minutes later he found a boxers-clad Jack waiting for him.

Still not sure of how he wanted to handle things Daniel, without meeting Jack's eyes, moved to step around Jack and head into the kitchen.

Daniel stopped with his back to Jack when Jack said, "You didn't betray her."

Suddenly angry, Daniel turned to face Jack and bit out the words, "the hell I didn't."

Compassion in his eyes Jack asked, "Do you really think that she wouldn't understand?"

"You don't understand. I wasn't...it wasn't just..." Daniel took a deep breath and started again. "I didn't cheat on Sha're by having sex with someone else; I made love to someone else."

Jack's eyes lit from within and he took a step towards Daniel. "I love you too."

Daniel stepped back out of Jack's reach. "Is that supposed to make it better?" He snapped.

"I understand that you're upset." Jack took another step towards Daniel and Daniel backed away again. Jack stopped trying to approach Daniel but he continued speaking. "You've been through a lot these past few days."

Daniel shook his head and wrapped his arms around his chest in his habitual self-hug. "That's no excuse."

"She would want you to be happy."

"Stop talking about her like she's dead!" Daniel cried out, angry and distressed.

Jack scrubbed his hands over his face, frustration, hurt and compassion battling for control of his emotions.

Daniel opened his mouth to apologize, "I'm sorry. I'm...sorry about everything." Then, once again, headed for the kitchen.

Jack didn't follow.

When Jack walked, fully dressed, out of the bedroom a short while later Daniel was seated at the kitchen table with his hands wrapped around the steaming mug of coffee in front of him.

"I'm a mess," Daniel said, his eyes focused on the coffee in front of him.

Jack sighed and stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "Last night was a mistake. I shouldn't have let it happen. I was selfish."

Daniel looked up at Jack. "It wasn't your fault, Jack; I wanted it to happen as much as you did. I wanted you last night. I still want you."

He lifted his mug of coffee and took a sip, shifting his unfocused gaze towards some unknown point in front of him, before he continued. "I needed you last night and you were there for me." He looked back down at the tabletop and swirled one finger through the ring of dark liquid left by the coffee mug. "I don't know..." He paused and looked towards Jack. "Where do we go from here? What happens now? I..."

He put his coffee back down on the table and clenched his hands into fists. "I still love my wife. Every time that I step through the 'gate, I still hope that this time we'll find her."

Daniel unclenched his fists and rose from the table. He approached Jack, who hadn't moved since Daniel began speaking. Stopping in front of Jack, Daniel tentatively reached out his hand as if to touch Jack but stopped with his hand midway between their bodies. He started to lower his hand but Jack stopped him by grabbing Daniel's hand with his own.

Gaze focused on Daniel's blue eyes, Jack squeezed Daniel's hand and Daniel returned the pressure.

"I'm not ready to move on yet. I don't want to move on. I'm sorry..."

Jack interrupted him, "Don't be. I never expected even this much. I know that you still love Sha're. I know that you want to find her; I'd never ask you for more than you're willing to give."

Feeling miserable, Daniel tried to pull away but Jack wouldn't let him so he stopped trying. "It's not fair to you."

Jack smiled sadly, "I know that you love me too. That's good enough."

Daniel shook his head. "No..."

Jack covered Daniel's mouth with his free hand and said, "You're worth waiting for."

Removing his hand from Daniel's mouth he stepped back. "Nothing has to change, Daniel. We don't have to change because we're friends and no matter what may or may not happen we will always be friends - first and foremost."

Daniel relaxed a little realizing that the friendship that they had always worked so hard for was still there and always would be.

Although, he couldn't help worrying about what would happen to all of them if...when...if he rescued Sha're. Noticing his frown Jack said, "Stop worrying, Daniel. We'll handle it when it happens."

Daniel knew that Jack was right. Worrying about things that he couldn't change would send him to a mental institution for real, but he would never be able to forget that everything had changed for them last night.

Using the grip that they still had on each other's hands Daniel tugged Jack towards the kitchen. "Come on, Jack, sit down and have a cup of coffee. I'll make breakfast."

Allowing himself to be dragged across the room, Jack suspiciously asked, "You do have real food here, don't you? You know - eggs, bacon, stuff like that. You're not gonna try feeding me healthy crap like grapefruit or bran muffins or..."

Daniel chuckled. "Would I do that to you?"

Giving their still joined hands a sharp tug, Jack managed to swing Daniel around to face him and said, "Yes, Daniel, you would."

Daniel pulled his hand free and smiled at Jack before he headed for the refrigerator. "I'm just looking out for your well being, Jack. You've been putting on a little weight lately and..."

Jack stopped half way down into the chair he had just pulled away from the table and said, "Hey!"

Daniel looked back at Jack and said, "Gotcha." Then he returned his attention to the fridge. He pulled out eggs, making sure that Jack got a good look, and bacon and the rest of the items that he needed. He felt secure now in the knowledge that, no matter what happened in the future, he wouldn't lose Jack. And he vowed that Jack wouldn't ever lose him.

**The End**