Fall into Evil
by zoodenizen

Chapter 3

Daniel stroked his hand up and down Jack's back, reveling in the feel of warm skin and hard muscle. He'd never imagined being here, naked and sated with an equally naked and sated Jack in his arms.

Of course, it wasn't the right Jack but he wasn't going to think about that right now. He was feeling too good.

Which was why Daniel also wasn't going to think about what brought this Jack here and what he had planned to do. There had to be a way to convince him that killing Sam wasn't the answer.

Jack shifted in his arms and sighed. Rising up on his forearm, Jack looked down at Daniel through sleep dazed eyes and said, "Hey."

Daniel smiled. "Hey. Enjoy your nap?"

"What the fuck?!"

Startled, because the voice was Jack's but it wasn't coming from the Jack leaning over him, Daniel's eyes darted in the direction of the exclamation. He saw Jack, Teal'c and Sam standing less than three yards away. How had they gotten so close without him being aware of their presence?

He didn't have time to contemplate because, at that moment, Jack, the one that he'd just made love to, reached across him and grabbed Daniel's Baretta. Daniel had dropped it into the grass at some point.

Jack twisted to face the other members of SG1 and fired.

Before he even had a chance to react, Jack, his Jack, returned fire and the alternate Jack jerked backwards and fell onto the grass at Daniel's side.

Daniel froze for a second, shocked, and then reached out to check the man at his side.

He heard Teal'c call out Sam's name as he rested his fingers against Jack's throat.

He was dead.

"Daniel," Jack, the one that was still alive, said and moved towards him.

His brain finally registered what he had just heard and, galvanized into action, he jumped up intending to check on Sam.

Jack intercepted him.

"Daniel," Jack said, again, and started checking Daniel for an injury. "Are you alright?"

Daniel pushed him away and, totally unconcerned about his nudity, tried to get around Jack so he could get to Sam. "I think something happened to Sam," he said as he wrestled with Jack, who didn't seem to want to let him go. "He fired his gun and he wanted Sam dead. Jack, I..."

"Calm down," Jack said and pushed him back onto the ground.

Daniel's attention was caught by the still figure beside him. "He's dead. I checked."

"I know you did," Jack said gently.

Daniel looked back at Jack. "Check on Sam."

Jack hesitated for a second then nodded his assent and moved back to where Teal'c was kneeling over a prostrate Sam. Teal'c's hands were pressed against her leg and even from where he was sitting he could see the blood on her leg, Teal'c's hands, and the grass.

He grabbed his pants and pulled them on then reached for his boots. He couldn't go back to the SGC naked.

While he dressed, he heard Jack say, "Where's she hit?"

"The bullet appears to have struck her leg. I believe her knee has been badly damaged."

"Shit!"

Daniel ran over to Sam's side. Her knelt down at her side. She appeared to be unconscious.

"Jack?"

Jack looked up when Daniel spoke. "Daniel, I need you to head for the 'gate. She needs medical attention ASAP."

Daniel nodded, already standing.

"Teal'c, we need to stabilize her leg and slow the bleeding before we try to move her." Jack said.

If Sam died...

He took one last look at the dead man responsible for all of this, then headed for the Stargate and the medical help Sam so desperately needed.

Why did it have to come to this? Sam was lying on the ground back there badly injured because of something that her double in another reality had done.

Whatever her feelings for Jack were, whatever she might have done at some point in the future, she didn't deserve to be hurt like that.

And he was partly to blame.

He'd known that Jack wanted her dead. So, what had he done about it?

Had he tried to warn the others?

No. He'd been too busy fulfilling his fantasy of loving and being loved by Jack.

He'd been selfish and now Sam was paying the price.

***

Jack paced in the hall outside the infirmary. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Teal'c standing silently against the wall beside the infirmary doorway.

Daniel was slumped dejectedly in a chair across from Teal'c.

Jack spun around and, on his next pass, reached over and grabbed Daniel by the elbow and hauled him up.

"Come on." He looked over his shoulder at Teal'c. "You, too. We're not doing anyone any good clogging up the corridor. We're going to Daniel's office. We can wait for news there."

"Jack, I don't..."

Jack started walking, dragging Daniel with him. "Daniel, save it." He stopped walking for a moment and locked gazes with Daniel. "We need to talk about what happened on that planet."

He wouldn't have thought that it was possible for Daniel to look more miserable than he did before, but Daniel somehow managed it.

He knew that Daniel was somehow going to blame himself for what happened.

Well, Jack wasn't going to let him. The only one to blame was that prick he'd left dead on P3X-whatever. He was the one who'd shot Carter. He was the one who'd taken advantage of Daniel.

And he had taken advantage; Jack was sure of it.

Daniel hadn't actually wanted that asshole.

He was the one that Daniel wanted. Him. Colonel Jack O'Neill. Daniel wanted him.

And once they'd gotten everything sorted he was going to savor that knowledge by savoring Daniel.

Daniel wanted him. Probably even loved him. Despite everything, there was a part of him that felt gleeful. Today he'd learned that his unrequited feelings for Daniel were requited after all.

It was likely going to be the only good thing to come out of this whole God awful mess.

When they reached Daniel's office, Jack ushered Daniel and Teal'c inside. He closed the door behind them and then crossed to the other side of the office and closed that door too.

When he turned back around, he saw that Daniel was seated at his desk, fiddling nervously with a pen, eyes focused on the desktop. He walked towards Daniel trying to figure out what to say. Teal'c beat him to it.

"There was no way to know that Colonel O'Neil intended to harm Major Carter," Teal'c said.

If he was trying to put Daniel at ease, it didn't work because Daniel immediately went from nervous fiddling to self-hugging.

"I knew that he wanted to hurt Sam. He told me."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Why what? Why did he tell me? Or why did he want to kill her?"

"Both," Jack said.

"He...It was all because..." Daniel paused and took a deep breath.

"SG1 went on a mission that went bad. They were attacked by Jaffa and because Sam was more concerned with protecting Jack than doing her job..."

"Wait a minute," Jack interrupted. "I thought..." Jack made a vague motion with his hand that was meant to indicate physical intimacy. "What the hell was he doing with you if he and Sam were together?"

"They weren't."

"Whoa. Hold on. That doesn't make any sense."

"Major Carter is in love with you. Yet, the two of you are not a couple," Teal'c said.

"What?! Carter's..."

"Jack," Daniel cut him off and Jack could hear the anger and frustration in his voice. "Don't play dumb. You know damn well that Sam's in love with you."

"Indeed, O'Neill. I have often noticed the way that you, I believe the expression is, preen like a peacock when she is around."

"I do not!"

Jack looked back and forth between Teal'c and Daniel, taking in the twin looks of disbelief.

"OK. Maybe I do. Sometimes. But who wouldn't. Sheesh. She's a beautiful woman. And I'm only human."

"Yeah, well, our visitor noticed how human you are and decided that Sam was going to get me killed. So, he decided to kill her first."

"Oh no," Jack said. "This is not my fault. And he thought she was going to do what?"

"Sam, the other Sam, apparently abandoned her position to save Jack. Their Daniel was wounded and it might have been because of her actions. She then ordered Teal'c to get Jack back to the SGC. She was supposed to get Daniel but she didn't. She followed right behind Teal'c and Jack and left their Daniel to die."

"Son-of-a-bitch!" He couldn't even begin to describe how horrified he was by the thought that Carter would do something so vile. If he had lost Daniel because of her...Well, let's just say that he suddenly understood FJ's actions a lot better now.

"On Chulak, the punishment for such a crime is death."

Whoa! If looks could kill...It was a good thing that Teal'c never encountered the Carter from that alternate reality. He looked like he wanted to rip her apart with his bare hands.

Jack understood the sentiment.

Daniel abruptly stood and began pacing. "Well, we're not on Chulak and Sam, our Sam, hasn't gotten anyone killed."

Yet. Jack and Teal'c exchanged a look. Considering how similar their realities were, the chances were pretty damn good that she would fuck up in the same way somewhere down the line. It might not cost anyone their life but it would happen.

Well, it would have. He'd gotten a good look at Carter's leg; she wasn't going to be going on missions anytime soon. Or ever, actually. If she survived, she was gonna be crippled.

"The alternate reality that O'Neill was from appeared to be remarkably similar to our own. It is probable that Major Carter would, in the future, make a similar error."

Daniel seemed to deflate and slumped against his desk. "Maybe. It's certainly what Jack seemed to think."

Jack shrugged "He was a soldier. Threat assessing is what we do."

Daniel didn't respond.

"O'Neill and Daniel Jackson were lovers."

"Yes," Daniel said. If he wondered why Teal'c was asking, he didn't show it. Jack sure as hell wanted to know, though.

"Reliving his lover's death must have been...difficult and painful for O'Neill."

"It was." Daniel sucked in his bottom lip and then released it.

Jack looked back and forth between Daniel and Teal'c.

"What are you talking about?"

"He's saying that...umm..."

"Colonel O'Neill was in need of comfort and I believe that Daniel Jackson would have wanted to ease his suffering."

With his body? No, that wasn't fair. He knew what Teal'c was trying to do. He was trying to make things easier for Daniel.

"Especially considering how Daniel Jackson feels about you."

Daniel's head shot up and he got a wide-eyed deer in the headlights look on his face.

Jack thought about asking Teal'c what he meant by that but he already knew what Teal'c meant. Unfortunately, right now wasn't the time and this wasn't the place to push Daniel.

He knew how Daniel felt. Finding Daniel wrapped around another version of Jack had let the cat out of the bag very effectively.

Daniel seemed to realize the same thing because, after darting a nervous glance in Jack's direction, he'd gone back to pacing. His next words, though, indicated that he'd gone back to worrying about the topic at hand -- Sam's injury.

"Still. I shouldn't have...I should have..."

"You are not to blame for the injury that Major Carter sustained."

"Damn straight."

Daniel got a stubborn look on his face and said, "If I'd tried harder to talk him out of killing her or tried to warn you then Sam wouldn't be fighting for her life right now."

"I disagree," Teal'c said. "O'Neill would not have been dissuaded and you would not have been able to stop him from acting. You have become a skilled warrior but you are no match for O'Neill."

Jack beamed at Teal'c. Finally, someone recognized his brilliance. He turned back to Daniel. "And it would have been easy enough to stop you from warning us," Jack said off-handedly.

Daniel arched an eyebrow. Jack gave him a look intended to convey that he could easily subdue Daniel and Daniel should just learn to live with it.

Teal'c interrupted their staring contest by speaking. "General Hammond will demand an explanation for how Major Carter came to be injured," he said, reminding them of the topic at hand.  

Jack shook his head, exasperated. He and Daniel tended to wander from the central point of a discussion frequently. If someone didn't remind them of what was important, they'd spend hours arguing about anything and everything. Normally, he got a kick out of it, but this time they had a lot to talk about and not much time to do it. Teal'c was right; Hammond was going to want to know what happened, sooner rather than later.  

Jack sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, well..." He shrugged. "We tell him the truth, mostly."

"Mostly?" Daniel asked.

"He doesn't need to know the exact details about Jack's relationship with his Daniel. Especially since zatting him got rid of the physical evidence."

"You zatted him?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

Jack let out a long suffering sigh. "Because, Daniel, we couldn't just leave him lying there, naked, for an SG team to retrieve. They would have asked all kinds of uncomfortable questions. Questions that we don't want to have to answer."

"Oh." Daniel worried at his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment. Jack swallowed hard. Didn't Daniel realize how that affected him?

Jack was snapped back to reality when Daniel spoke. "I don't want to lie to General Hammond. It's not right."

"And us being outed to the base is?"

Daniel stood tall and turned to face Jack. He could almost hear the bell ring signaling the first round's beginning. All they needed was a boxing ring. Ready, willing, and able to rumble; Jack moved closer to Daniel.

"Who said anything about being outed," Daniel said.

"You think anyone's going to believe that we're not lovers after hearing the details about our doubles?"

"They're from an alternate reality, Jack. That means that they're different. Nobody's going to believe that you're in love with me."

"Boy are you in for a rude awakening."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means, Daniel Jackson, that a great many of the men and women at the SGC believe that you and O'Neill are already lovers. And that you have been together for years."

Daniel looked stunned and Jack crowed with delight. "Hah!" Take that book boy. "We come clean to Hammond and I'll be facing court-martial."

Daniel slumped back against his desk. "I don't want you to be court-martialed."

"Glad to hear it. So, we lie."

Daniel sighed. "I don't like it. There has to be a way..."

"There isn't; live with it."

Daniel frowned and started with the self-hugging again. Stupid, selfless...

Jack walked over to his side and rested a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "I know that you don't like this, Daniel, but it's for the best. And not just for us."

Daniel looked skeptical.

"General Hammond would attempt to protect your reputations, putting him at risk," Teal'c said.

Jack nodded. "He could jeopardize his career."

Daniel nodded. "You're right but...What about Sam? She saw the same thing the two of you did. I doubt she'll be thinking about protecting reputations when she's recovering in the infirmary."

"She will not be thinking about reputations at all while she is recovering," Teal'c pointed out.

"She may not even remember," Jack added.

"She may not even survive, "Daniel said accusingly.

Before Jack could respond, the phone rang. Daniel twisted and reached across the desk to answer it. "Dr. Jackson."

Jack leaned closer attempting to hear the voice on the other end of the phone. Daniel turned his head and glared at him. Jack smiled.

These were some of the moments with Daniel that he loved best. Teasing Daniel, fighting with Daniel, joking with Daniel...Anybody see a pattern forming? He just loved being with Daniel and, if he was lucky, he'd have the opportunity to supplement all those moments with other more intimate moments. Moments that involved touching and kissing.

He'd need supplies. It had been a long, dry spell at Casa de O'Neill. They probably needed to "talk"" first. Daniel was big on talking.

They could get it settled tonight over dinner. He could invite Daniel over.

He'd just have to make sure that Daniel didn't invite Teal'c and Carter...

That thought brought reality crashing back down on him.

He was a total asshole. Working on strategies for seducing Daniel while Carter was undergoing surgery.

Everyone always said he was a selfish bastard.

"Yes, Sir. We're on our way now," Daniel said and bumped into Jack's side, startling him out of his thoughts.

"So, what did he/she/it say?"

Daniel hung up the phone and said, in an entirely too snarky tone, "You mean you didn't overhear everything the General said? You were certainly close enough."

Jack straightened and said, "Of course not. I would never eavesdrop."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Did General Hammond have any news regarding Major Carter's condition?" Teal'c asked.

"No, he didn't, but he wants us to report to the briefing room."

"Time to face the music," Jack said.

Daniel, without saying a word, headed for the door. Teal'c followed, also without comment, leaving Jack alone in Daniel's office.

"Tough room," Jack said and followed them.

***

Daniel sat at Sam's bedside, one hand folded around hers.

She'd come out of surgery several hours earlier, while the rest of them were with Hammond, but hadn't yet regained consciousness. Janet said that was for the best. Sam was going to be in a lot of pain, physical and emotional, when she woke up.

She would never go through the 'gate again. She might not ever walk again because her knee had been shattered by the bullet Jack had fired.

Janet and her team had done what they could but she still had more surgeries in her future and months of physical therapy simply to regain some use of her leg.

Jack may not have killed her but he'd certainly achieved his goal anyway, hadn't he? She definitely wasn't a threat to him or anyone else now.

How was she going to handle this? Her whole life was going to change. Would she be discharged from the Air Force?

Well, whatever happened, he was going to be here for her. If she wanted his help.

He was the reason why she was lying in the infirmary with a life changing injury, after all.

Was she going to hate him?

"Daniel Jackson."

Daniel jumped, startled by Teal'c's voice and the hand that Teal'c placed on his shoulder.

Daniel looked up and back at his friend. "Teal'c?" He looked around for another chair and pointed to it with his free hand. "Pull up a chair."

"I did not come to visit with Major Carter. I intend to escort you to the commissary. You have not eaten since before we departed for P3X-241," Teal'c said.

Daniel focused his attention back onto Sam. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." His stomach was too tied up in knots for food.

"You require nourishment. You will do Major Carter no good if you collapse."

Daniel sighed. He knew that Teal'c was trying to help. Unfortunately, he couldn't. No one could.

"I'll get something later, Teal'c. I promise. Right now...I want to be here when she wakes up. She shouldn't be alone."

"She will not be alone. Doctor Fraiser will be here."

"Janet can't sit by Sam's side. She's on duty. Having someone in the room isn't the same as having someone right there with her when she first opens her eyes."

"She will not wake for several more hours."

Daniel shrugged.

After a few moments, Teal'c said, "There is no need to punish yourself. Major Carter's injury was not your fault."

Daniel clenched his free hand into a fist in his lap. "You don't know what you're talking about. I'm not 'punishing' myself. I'm trying to be here for a friend."

"Daniel J..."

"Enough," Daniel said quietly but angrily. "I'm not leaving Sam, so just go. Before we both say things we might regret."

"I will regret nothing that I say to you," Teal'c replied.

Daniel could hear the intensity in Teal'c's voice and knew that Teal'c wasn't going to leave him alone.

"You believe that what has occurred is your responsibility because O'Neill believed he was protecting you. You are mistaken in that belief. Would you blame Major Carter if your positions were reversed?"

"It's not that simple."

"It is."

Daniel let go of Sam's hand and turned to face Teal'c fully. "I had him at gunpoint, Teal'c," he said fiercely. "I had the chance to stop him before he could hurt anyone and I blew it."

Teal'c nodded his head. "Now I understand why you insist on blaming yourself."

Daniel turned back to Sam. "Good. Now that you know it was my fault..."

"It was not your fault."

"Teal'c..."

"You should not blame yourself for having compassion. It is one of your greatest strengths. In this instance, you failed to sway O'Neill completely. However, he was far too skilled with firearms to have failed to kill Major Carter, if that was what he intended. You saved her life."

"If I'd put a bullet through his head when I had the chance then she wouldn't even have been shot."

"I would not have acted differently if I were in your place. Killing O'Neill then would have been murder and you are not a murderer. You could not have known how it would turn out."

Daniel felt the sting of tears and blinked his eyes rapidly, fighting them back. Intellectually, he knew that Teal'c was right but emotionally...he still felt like he'd done wrong. "If I'd done things differently..."

"O'Neill had made his choice long ago. Nothing would have stopped him because his hatred of Major Carter would compel him to act."

Daniel turned back to Teal'c. "He wanted revenge, but it was never enough. Killing her hadn't brought his Daniel back and didn't stop the pain. He was going to keep traveling through the mirror, killing every Sam that he met, trying, futilely, to fix something that couldn't be fixed." Daniel sighed. It had been a very long time since he'd seen Jack look so broken. He'd really thought that he could save Jack, but it was too late. "I'm not entirely sure that he was still sane. There were moments..."

"I agree. A sane O'Neill would not have acted as he did. You must see, now, that O'Neill's actions were not your responsibility."

Teal'c gripped him by the forearm and began to pull him upright. He didn't fight Teal'c's hold. What was the point? Teal'c was a lot stronger than he was. He settled for a verbal protest, of sorts. "What is it with everyone yanking me around by the arm?"

"I apologize," Teal'c said and released him.

"It's alright, Teal'c," he said and stood on his own. "I could use a cup of coffee, I guess."

"You will eat," Teal'c said. "I will see to it."

"I'm not a child," Daniel said, exasperated. How many times did he have to tell them...

"No, you are not. However, you are my friend. I am concerned for your health."

"Oh." Well, he couldn't argue with that, could he? It looked like he was going to get something to eat whether he wanted to or not.

"Lead on, Teal'c," he said and waved his hands towards the doorway, indicating that Teal'c should precede him.

"I will," Teal'c said, with a regal nod, and did.

***

Jack sat behind his desk with his elbows on the desktop and his head in his hands.

The meeting with Hammond had gone well. Daniel had kept the more salacious details to himself, despite his better instincts.

He had the feeling Hammond suspected that there was more to the story than they were telling but he let it go because he trusted them. It made Jack feel like a traitor. He'd been trying to stay too busy to dwell on it, but couldn't. So, now, here he was locked up in his office reliving the events of the past twenty hours and how they'd affected everyone.

He was really worried about Daniel. He knew that Daniel was already feeling guilty about Carter's condition and their briefing with Hammond had added on the guilt of lying to a friend. If he was feeling uneasy about it then Daniel was probably shaming himself into a full out depression.

It wasn't Daniel's fault that alternate reality Jack had fallen in love with alternate reality Daniel.

It certainly wasn't Daniel's fault that Jack was a bastard sometimes. It scared him to admit that he understood the other Jack all too well.

If his Carter had gotten his Daniel killed then he'd have put a bullet right between her eyes. What was worse was that there was a part of him that was relieved that Carter was now crippled and off SG1. A few hours ago he never would have believed that Carter was capable of such incompetence. Having heard what had happened in that other reality and knowing how much alike the two realities were...He was scared shitless that Carter would have gotten Daniel or someone else killed because of her feelings.

He felt like a heel because he believed that Jack had done them a favor.

None of this was going to help Daniel, though. Neither was sitting here brooding.

Unfortunately, he didn't know what would help.

At least Carter was going to survive. They did have that going for them.

It wasn't very much, but it was something. Carter was going to have a long, hard recovery but she was strong; she'd survive. And she still had her work, right? All that science stuff that she loved so much. So, she couldn't be a part of SG1 anymore. So, what? Just meant more time to play with all those doohickeys that were always being brought back through the 'gate.

She'd love it. Right?

God, he hoped so. For everyone's sake.

***

Daniel was, once again, sitting in an uncomfortable chair, holding his unconscious friend's hand. Although, this time he wasn't feeling quite as depressed and he wasn't alone. Teal'c was also standing vigil.

They'd returned to the infirmary an hour ago and Sam still wasn't awake. If she didn't wake up soon then Janet was probably going to kick them out. She was starting to make comments about how long they'd been there, saying that it could be a while before Sam woke up and wondering how long they'd gone without sleep.

Maybe that was why Jack wasn't here, too? Did he plan on staying with Sam once Daniel and Teal'c were forced to leave? Or was there another reason? It sounded a little conceited, but could Jack be avoiding him?

The other Jack had been in love with his Daniel but, like he'd pointed out earlier, that reality was different from this one. This Jack might not be comfortable with the idea that a male friend was attracted to him. Although, he hadn't seemed to be bothered by it earlier.

Of course, they'd had other problems to worry about and Jack had been worried about being outed. But then he could have...

He could go around and around in circles like this forever. The only way he was going to know for sure was to ask.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to do that yet.

He'd face the consequences soon enough. Right now his focus was on Sam and helping her in any way that he could. Hopefully, Jack was feeling the same way.

Daniel's thoughts were interrupted when he felt the hand beneath his own twitch. He leaned closer, trying to see if Sam was finally waking up.

"Sam?"

Sam moaned and shifted in the bed. Teal'c moved over to Daniel's side. He rested his hand on Sam's uninjured leg for a moment and said, "I will inform Doctor Fraiser that Major Carter is waking," then headed off to find Janet.

Sam's eyes opened slightly. Daniel gently squeezed her hand. "Hey, Sam," he said.

Sam tried to speak. "Dan..."

"I'm right here, Sam." He squeezed her hand again and this time felt her weakly squeeze back.

He smiled. At that moment, Teal'c returned with Janet.

Daniel moved out of the way so that Janet could check Sam. He joined Teal'c who was standing a discrete distance away.

They stood there silently and waited for Janet to finish.

After several minutes she approached them. Quietly, she said, "I know that you're worried about her but I think it would be best if you left." Daniel opened his mouth, intending to protest. Janet held up her hand to stop him. "What I need to say to her should be said in private, doctor to patient, and she's going to need some time, I think. You can come back to see her tomorrow and talk to her then. If she's feeling up to it."

Daniel wanted to object, but he understood. And Janet was Sam's best friend, she knew better than anyone, except Sam, what would be best for Sam. "OK. I understand, just...tell her that we're here for her and if she needs to talk..."

"I, too, would like to offer my support," Teal'c said.

"I'll tell her," Janet said. She patted him on the arm and nodded to Teal'c, then went back to Sam.

After one last look at Sam, Daniel and Teal'c headed for the door.

***

Jack turned the corner at a fast trot, barely avoiding two airmen. Without even acknowledging them he continued down the hall.

He'd just gotten the call that Carter was awake. He'd also been told that Janet would be talking to her about her condition, that visitors weren't welcome until tomorrow at the earliest, and that Janet had already sent Teal'c and Daniel away.

Immediately after getting off the phone he'd set out to find Daniel. He was headed for the most likely place, Daniel's office.

He was worried about Daniel. Well, he was worried about Sam, too, but there was nothing he could do for her. Daniel, on the other hand, might need a friend right now.

Or he might not. Either way Jack planned on taking Daniel home tonight.

They needed to talk.

The timing sucked but he knew Daniel. If left alone, Daniel would probably find a way to sweep the little matter of his feelings under the rug. Jack wasn't going to let that happen. As crappy as this whole situation was, he'd be damned if he was going to lose out on this chance at happiness. So, the timing was bad. That's the way life usually worked.

Without knocking, he walked into Daniel's office. He immediately spotted his quarry sitting behind the desk but was brought up short when he spotted Teal'c sitting next to Daniel.

Well, hell. Now what?

"Hey, T. Daniel. What'cha doing?

Teal'c arched an eyebrow then stood. He looked down at Daniel and said, "I will leave you now, Daniel Jackson. I believe you and O'Neill have much to discuss."

Inwardly, Jack cheered. Never let it be said that the Big Guy wasn't observant. And a great friend.

"I trust that you will be tactful, O'Neill? I would rather not have to hurt you," Teal'c said.

A great friend to Daniel, apparently.

"Hey! I'm always tact..." He broke off when he saw the twin looks of disbelief on his teammates faces.

Well, Teal'c's face was expressionless, but the arched eyebrow just screamed out "disbelief".

"OK, so, maybe not. I can be tactful, though. If I want to be."

 Teal'c just looked at him. "Oh, for cryin' out loud."

Daniel, who had been looking back and forth between them like a spectator at a tennis match, said, "I appreciate your concern but I don't need you to defend me, Teal'c."

Teal'c turned to Daniel and gave a slight bow. "Very well," Teal'c said, and then headed out the door.

After giving Jack one more significant look, he left.

"Sheesh! You'd think I was some sort of monster," Jack said.

"Or that I was a damsel in need of protection," Daniel said, his voice as dry as the Sahara.

Jack decided to ignore Daniel's protest, there wasn't a chance in hell that they were going to stop looking out for Daniel -- not when he meant so much to them and not so long as he insisted on looking before he leapt and seeing the galaxy through rose-ish colored glasses.

 Jack rubbed his hands together and crossed the office to grab onto Daniel and haul him out of his chair.

"Not again," Daniel groaned.

Jack stopped tugging Daniel towards the door and said, "What do you mean 'not again'?"

"Forget it. It's not important," Daniel said.

Confused about whether to let it go or not, Jack decided to just carry on with his plans and said, "What say we get out of here for awhile?"

"Jack..."

"Ah!" Jack held up his finger and shook it in Daniel's face. "No objections."

"I don't take orders from you," Daniel said mutinously.

"No, you don't. You should, but you don't. Usually I'm willing to overlook that shortcoming..."

"Shortcoming," Daniel said, and Jack easily picked up on the dangerous edge in his voice.

Jack decided to give up on "playful but determined" and try "earnest and conscientious". "Daniel, please. We need to talk."

Daniel stared at him for a moment, probably trying to gauge Jack's sincerity, which was fine, because Jack was sincere. They did need to talk.

Finally, Daniel nodded his head in agreement.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, thinking he'd won.

"I know that we need to talk, but this isn't the right time. Maybe after Sam's had some time to recover and is more settled..."

"No," Jack said. "No. You are not going to bury this, Daniel. We need to work this out now before it's too late. I know..." He stopped himself, realizing that they couldn't hash this out here. "Shit! We can't do this here, at the SGC.

"Sam's off-limits until tomorrow. This is our best chance. Probably our only chance to work this out. Now, are you coming quietly or do I have to beg?"

"Fine," Daniel said and stomped out of the room.

"Good," Jack said to the empty office. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long night.

And not in a good way.

Why the hell couldn't he have fallen in love with someone who wasn't snarky and stubborn on a good day. He pictured himself with someone biddable and sweet tempered like Sam. Then shuddered in horror at the mental picture.

Not in a million years. Hell, not in a billion lifetimes.

He headed out after Daniel and realized how good he had it.

He was damned lucky that he'd fallen in love with Daniel.

***

"Stop pouting, Daniel."

Daniel didn't even look in Jack's direction when he said, "Shouldn't you be watching where you're going?"

"I am," Jack said. "I can easily drive and watch you pout." Jack grinned. "See, I can multi-task."

Daniel remained silently slumped against the passenger side door.

"You're still pouting."

"I am not pouting. I don't pout," Daniel sullenly replied.

"You do pout, all the time, and as gorgeous as you look when you do it, if you don't want us treating you like a child then you shouldn't act like one."

Daniel straightened and looked at Jack, eyes wide. "Gorgeous?"

"Well," Jack said, "there's no point in pretending any more, since my double already outed me."

Daniel slid down in his seat and leaned his head against the headrest. Jack frowned. Daniel looked...forlorn. Shouldn't he be happier now that he knew his feelings weren't all one-sided?  

"Daniel?"

"I'm fine."

Jack snorted.

"Let's not...I don't want to talk about this in the truck," Daniel said.

Jack nodded. "We're almost there."

The rest of the drive was silent but at least Daniel didn't seem to be in a snit anymore. Although, he didn't think unhappy was much of an improvement.

They reached Jack's house a few minutes later and Daniel unsnapped his seatbelt and climbed out as soon as Jack put the truck in park.

Jack quickly pulled the key out of the ignition and headed for his front door to let them both in.

He hated this...this feelings stuff. Why couldn't Daniel just look at him and know how he felt and what he wanted. Everything would be a whole lot easier if he didn't have to try to put his feelings into words.

He tossed his jacket onto one of the chairs in the living room and watched Daniel walk over to the windows, eyes focused on the backyard.

Where the hell was he supposed to start? What did he say?

"It's such a big mess," Daniel said.

"Yeah, well, that's life," Jack said, bluntly, really glad that Daniel had spoken.

He walked over to Daniel's side. "You and I both know how ugly life can be. If there's one thing I've learned it's that it's never nice and pretty and simple. The trick," he said as he turned Daniel to face him, "is to make the most of the good."

Daniel looked at him, blue eyes intense. "Are we the good?"

He reached out and cupped both hands around the back of Daniel's neck, resting his forearms on Daniel's shoulders.

"Yeah. I think we are. But it's not up to me, not completely."

Daniel slid his hands over Jack's stomach and onto his sides, just below his ribs.

"It doesn't seem right."

"Because of Carter."

"He crippled her, Jack. Because of me. And now I'm here, with you, because of him. All because of him." Daniel closed his eyes and started to pull away but Jack wouldn't let him go.

Jack tightened his grip on Daniel, pulling him closer until he stopped trying to escape.

"It's too late to change what happened to Carter. Whether we're together or not, she's still going to be laid up with a shattered knee. You need to decide what you want."

Daniel dropped his head onto Jack's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Jack's waist.

"I want to be with you."

"That's good, 'cause you're stuck with me." Jack rubbed his cheek over the top of Daniel's head, reveling in the feel and scent of the silky strands. "I love you."

Daniel's arms tightened and Jack smiled.

"I love you, too," Daniel murmured against his neck. Jack's smile widened.

They had a hell of a lot to get through but they would work it out.

They always did.

Chapter 4

Sam clenched her hand into a fist and fought against the urge to fling her food tray across the room.

Not that she could throw it across the room. She'd be lucky to knock it onto the floor.

She'd been here two weeks now. Tied to this bed with an immobilized leg, pumped full of pain meds and antibiotics, leaving the room only long enough to get various tests and scans done.

Two weeks of pain and weakness.

Two weeks of knowing that she'd likely never walk without pain again.

Two weeks spent wondering why.

Why had O'Neill shot her? Was it intentional or had he reacted without thought, protecting himself and Daniel from a possible threat?

She'd asked, of course. As soon as she was coherent enough to talk. But she hadn't gotten an answer.

Teal'c always told her that he didn't know what O'Neill was thinking when he'd shot her and that knowledge went to O'Neill's grave with him.

Jack brushed her question aside or changed the subject.

Daniel just looked at her with sad eyes and said that the colonel's losses had broken him. He wasn't well when he came through the mirror and that he was looking for death. He never came out and said it, but she got the feeling that Daniel thought Colonel O'Neill had shot her because he wanted to be killed.

It was a better explanation than anyone else had given her but she still didn't know why he'd shot her.

And she still didn't know why they'd found Daniel and O'Neill sprawled out naked in a field.

Was Daniel in love with Jack? Was that other Jack in love with Daniel? And what did that say about this Jack?

She'd thought...Ever since the zaytarc mess she'd been sure that Jack was as in love with her as she was with him. That the only thing holding them back was the regs. Neither one of them wanted to walk away from the SGC. Saving the world was more important than their happiness. Right?

But now...No. She wasn't thinking straight right now. She new that Jack loved her. The one positive thing to come out of this was that they would no longer have to hide. Her career was over anyway. They could be together now.

She hoped, though, that Daniel wasn't in love with Jack. Lately, they hadn't been as close as they'd once been but she still didn't want to see him get hurt. And she couldn't even talk to him about it, not here on base. Any discussions regarding sexual preferences and Colonel O'Neill would have to take place away from the cameras and the possibility of court-martial.

She wanted out of here. She was already going stir-crazy and she still had several more weeks before she'd be released. She couldn't even get any work done because her mind was too fuzzy. All she could do was lie here and brood until she fell asleep, which happened a lot, or one of her friends came to see her.

Where were the Tok'ra and their healing devices when you needed them? She sighed and picked up the cup of juice on her tray. After all this time it was too late for a healing device to help, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

She would have liked to have her father here, though. He still didn't even know that she'd been wounded.

She wished Jack was here. She'd feel a lot better if she could see him and talk to him.

Where was he?

***

Jack stalked into Daniel's office and dropped into an empty chair. He sighed and did his best to look forlorn.

Daniel didn't even look up from his computer screen.

"I'm supposed to be the insensitive one here. You're supposed to drop everything and offer to comfort me."

"What?" Daniel asked distractedly.

Jack got up and shoved Daniel's chair far enough away from the desk to slide in between Daniel and his computer.

Daniel blinked a few times and frowned. "I'm working." He stated and tried to see around Jack. "Hammond wants this report done today. I don't have time to play. Go find Teal'c."

"Sheesh. Together two weeks and already the magic's gone."

"There was magic?"

With the back of his hand, Jack smacked Daniel on the shoulder. "Will you quit goofing around? I need some TLC, damnit."

Daniel sighed, gave his computer screen one last longing look, then leaned back in his chair and finally focused his attention on Jack.

"So, what's the problem?"

"I've been locked up in my office all morning doing paperwork."

"That's it?"

"That's it?! That's it? It was paperwork, Daniel. Mountains of it." Jack used his hand to demonstrate the height of his paperwork mountain. "That high."

Daniel looked at the hand hovering beside Jack's shoulder.

"Well," he drawled out, "if you'd do it more often..."

Jack clapped a hand over Daniel's mouth. "Don't say it." Daniel looked guilelessly back at him.

Jack smiled a warm, friendly smile that quickly shifted into a leer. "You know how I get when you start talking dirty."

Daniel pulled Jack's hand away from his mouth. "What? I was not..."

"'Do it more often', Daniel?"

Daniel blushed and Jack smiled. It amazed him that Daniel could still blush after everything that they'd been up to for the past two weeks.

Well, twelve days really, since they hadn't actually become lovers right away. The timing hadn't been right that first night. They'd both been too raw emotionally, so all they'd done was sleep together.

After that, Jack had decided to seduce Daniel. They would only get one first time, right? He was determined to make it memorable. No fast, sweaty roll in the hay for them.

Daniel had already done that with Jack's double.

So, twelve days ago he'd pulled out all the stops -- a quiet, romantic dinner at one of Daniel's favorite restaurants, then back home to watch some documentary on the History Channel, followed by necking on the couch.

Just the memory of that night was enough to make his pants too tight.

He'd never gotten turned on so fast in his life -- not even during his teens. But then he'd never known anyone as hot as Daniel before.

The man was addictive.

They'd exchanged hungry open mouthed kisses for what seemed like hours, Daniel's hands roaming all over his body, touching and caressing.

Daniel had always been very tactile.

Somehow Daniel had managed to remove Jack's shirt without him noticing, so he'd had to return the favor. Stroking his hands over silky skin and hard muscle, he'd discovered that he was a pretty tactile guy himself.

They'd moved into the bedroom at that point. Why fumble around on an old, narrow couch when there was a big, comfortable bed waiting for them? Besides, all the supplies were in his nightstand drawer.

They'd stripped each other slowly, taking the time to savor every inch of newly revealed skin.

Kissing, licking, and stroking, they'd fallen down onto the bed -- not even taking the time to pull back the covers, too focused on each other.

He'd eventually reached across the bed to collect the condoms and lube, putting them into Daniel's hands, already anticipating the feel of Daniel's cock stroking deep inside him.

Daniel had sucked in a deep breath, kissed Jack deep and hard, and rolled them over so that he was straddling Jack's waist.

Another rough, wet kiss and then Daniel's lube covered finger was breaching the entrance to Jack's body, followed by a second, then a third.

He'd been begging shamelessly by the time Daniel had pushed inside. The feeling had been indescribable, incredible, earth-shattering.

He was pretty sure that he'd screamed. Although, he was so far gone that he could have been singing nursery rhymes for all he knew.

He was also pretty sure that he'd passed out for a few seconds. Or more.

They'd held each other through the aftershocks and fallen asleep in each other's arms.

They'd also woken a little later to pull the covers over their naked bodies -- Daniel was breathtaking by moonlight -- and to make love all over again.

And, that's what it had been, love making. For the first time since Sara.

Jack sighed. As wonderful as these memories were, he needed to focus on something else before he wound up hard and aching. Dragging Daniel off to a storage closet was too risky and they wouldn't be able to leave the base for hours yet.

"Come on," Jack said and used Daniel's grip on his hand to pull Daniel to his feet. "I'm in the mood for some pie."

"That's nice. Have fun," Daniel said and sat back down. He released Jack's hand, but Jack didn't let go.

"Oh, no. You're coming with me."

"Jack...," Daniel said.

"Don't 'Jack' me. Have you had anything to eat today?"

"I had breakfast, Jack. As you very well know," Daniel said and gave Jack a significant look. Jack did know. He also knew that, "you had a bagel, Daniel, and some juice." He looked at his watch. "And that was eight hours ago."

Daniel looked over at the clock on his wall. "Has it really been that long?"

"Yup, it has," Jack said. Daniel nodded his acceptance and stood. Jack grinned in pleasure at Daniel's easy compliance and led Daniel out of his office.

"You're awfully chipper today," Daniel said.

Jack's grin widened. "Yup."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Usually you're grumpier than this when you spend the day doing paperwork."

Jack thought about it for a moment. He was happier than normal. But then, he'd never had a beautiful, energetic linguist to spend his life with before.

"Life is good. I've got you, Carter's getting better everyday and she seems to be coping well."

"True," Daniel said. Jack looked over at Daniel when he picked up on the seriousness in Daniel's voice. Daniel looked thoughtful. "No brooding," Jack said.

Daniel looked startled. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm in too good a mood for you to ruin it with meaningful discussion."

Daniel smirked. "Awfully big words, Jack."

"I've been hanging around Teal'c too long," Jack said and nudged Daniel with his shoulder.

Daniel chuckled and nudged him back.

It had been far too long since he and Daniel had been this comfortable with each other. Unrequited love, or what they thought was unrequited love, had caused them to put distance between each other. Both of them had been afraid of saying too much or doing the wrong thing and exposing their true feelings. Even when Daniel had been on his death bed, he'd been too afraid to reach out. Actually, they both had been too afraid.

If it wasn't for Carter's injury, everything would be perfect. Or as perfect as it could be when they were fighting to protect the planet.

Having reached the commissary, Jack grabbed two trays, handed one to Daniel, and headed through the food line. Despite the teasing and Jack's edict against brooding he knew that something was on Daniel's mind, and had been for days now. He knew that Daniel would spit it out eventually.

As soon as they sat down, Daniel said, "Is Sam going to be replaced?"

Well, well. Looked like eventually was finally here.

He poured some ketchup onto his plate and dipped a French fry into it.

"I'm not sure. There's nothing in the regs that says SG teams need to have four people. But, Carter's scientific know-how has saved our asses once or twice. It's probably in our best interests to have a fourth."

Daniel played with his silverware as he said, "Yeah. It just...I can't really picture anyone else on SG1. Sam belongs there with us."

"I know and I agree." Or I would if I didn't think she'd be a danger to the rest of the team. "Carter's one hell of an officer" Well, she was one hell of an officer. "But she's not coming back to SG1. It's too late to use a healing device on her, even if we could find the Tok'ra. Useless bastards. Never there when you need them but the minute they have a problem, where's the first place they go for help?"

"It's not their fault, Jack. They're being hunted."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Jack bit viciously into his burger and chewed.

"It would have been nice if they could have helped Sam, though," Daniel said wistfully.

"Damn straight." He looked down at Daniel's untouched food and said, "Eat, Daniel. You need to keep up your strength."

Daniel looked up at him through lowered lashes. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"

Jack swallowed hard and felt a tightening in his groin. He loved it when Daniel flirted with him.

"Hey. I'm at my prime here. I won't have any problems keeping up with you or anyone else."

Daniel mock frowned. "There better not be anyone else."

Jack rolled his eyes and then surreptitiously looked around. "We better continue this conversation later."

Daniel smiled. "OK," he said and finally started eating.

***

Jack whistled as he walked down the hallway. Life was good. He and Daniel had been together for five whole weeks. Hammond had finally given the green light for SG1 to resume off-world travel. They still hadn't chosen a permanent fourth but there were a couple of strong prospects. Hopefully, one of them would fit. Plus, Carter was due to be released from the infirmary any day now.

He was on his way to the infirmary now to talk to Janet, per her request. She'd said that she needed to talk to him about Carter's discharge. He wasn't sure why she'd want to talk to him but he wasn't about to question ol' Doc Fraiser; she had big needles and wasn't afraid to use them.

He walked into Janet's office and said, "Hey, Doc. What's up?"

Janet, seated behind her desk, looked up from the file she was writing in. "Have a seat, Colonel," she said.

"Sure," Jack said and dropped down into one of the two chairs facing her desk.

Janet closed the file in front of her and rested her clasped hands on the desktop. Jack tensed in his chair. Her whole attitude screamed "Medical Professional" and it was making Jack nervous. Janet only acted this way when she had bad news or some other unpleasant duty to perform.

"You know that Major Carter is due to be released from the infirmary and that she's going to need someone to stay with her if she's allowed off-base."

"Yeah," Jack said. "What does that have to do with me, though?"

"I'd like to know if you'd be willing to allow Major Carter to be released into your care."

"What?! No way! I'm not some kind of nurse maid." There was no way in hell he was going to take Carter home with him. Aside from the fact that it would mean no Daniel for weeks, he'd end up strangling her or vice versa. They tended to annoy each other on a good day and Carter wasn't going to be having a lot of good days anytime soon. Trapping them in a house together was just asking for trouble.

"Why can't she stay with you? You are her best friend. You and Cassie can look after her. It would be perfect. One big, happy family."

"I'd be happy to let her stay with me, but she didn't ask for me."

Jack stared stupidly at her for a moment. "What do you mean, 'she didn't ask for' you?" This had to be some kind of joke, right? He started looking around the office for a glimpse of Ferretti or Reynolds hiding with a video camera or something.

"What are you doing?" Janet asked. He could hear the annoyance in her voice.

Jack felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. "This isn't a joke, is it?"

"Of course it's not a joke!"

Jack held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Whoa! Calm down, Doc."

Janet took a deep breath, then another.

"You know damn well why she asked to stay with you."

"Um, actually, I don't."

"Oh, please. You can't possibly..." Janet stopped and looked at him searchingly. She shook her head and said, "You really don't, do you?"

"I said I didn't, didn't I?" This conversation was becoming more and more bizarre.

"Men," Janet said and threw her hands up, obviously disgusted.

"Hey! I resemble that remark," Jack said.

"You certainly do."

Frustrated, Jack said, "Do you mind telling me what's going on here?"

"What's going on is that Sam believes that you're in love with her, have been in love with her since you confessed feeling more from her than you should and, now that she's no longer in your chain of command, the two of you can finally be together."

Jack felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Carter thought that they were in love? Her having a crush on him was one thing, but if she thought that Jack felt anything more than friendship then she was insane.

"Don't look so surprised. You've been playing on her feelings for years."

Jack went from shocked to enraged. "The hell I have! If Carter thinks I'm in love with her then that's her delusion. I've never led her to believe that I have feelings for her."

"Maybe you haven't done anything overtly, but you've definitely been using her feelings to get what you wanted. Apparently, she mistakenly believed that you wouldn't selfishly lead her on."

Jack was speechless. Had he led her on?

It was just harmless flirting, for Christ's sake. Carter was an intelligent woman; she'd been around long enough to know that attraction didn't automatically mean love. She'd spent how many years in the Air Force, surrounded by men?

She couldn't possibly be that naïve. But one look at Janet's stony face convinced him that she had been that naïve.

"I didn't know," he said quietly.

Janet snorted. "If you didn't know, it was because you didn't want to know."

Jack didn't know what to say to that. He fiddled with a glass paperweight that he'd picked up from Janet's desk and tried to figure out what to say.

"You need to do something about this, Colonel."

Jack looked up at her and stopped fidgeting. "What, exactly, do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to fix this mess you created," Janet said.

Jack bristled. It wasn't his fault, damnit!

One look at Janet's face, though, convinced him that arguing would only get him into deeper trouble.

"Is this really the best time to try to let her down gently? Maybe it would be better to..."

"String her along for another couple years?"

"No!"

"Listen, Colonel. Telling her that her feelings for you are unrequited is going to be one hell of a blow. It isn't a good time, but she can't go on thinking that there's a future for the two of you. It'll only hurt her more, in the long run."

Jack thought about it for a few moments. "Sorta like ripping a band-aid off in one swift tug instead of slowly peeling it off?"

"I suppose...," Janet slowly drawled out, "something like that. Although, I would have phrased it a bit more tactfully."

Jack stood up and began pacing, juggling the paperweight from hand to hand.

"This isn't something that we should talk about in the infirmary," he said. No way was he going to hash out something this personal in front of a dozen people. Neither he nor Carter wanted their dirty laundry aired in public. Especially, since he had the feeling that his double's actions with Daniel, and how that related to him and his feelings, were going to be discussed.

"I can take care of that," Janet said.

"How?"

"The two of you can talk in one of the private exam rooms."

"Oh. OK. That's good. When?"

"Right now," Janet said as she headed for the door.

"Yeah. Alright," Jack said nervously and followed her. The sooner the better, right?

Right.

***

Sam worried at her lower lip in nervous anticipation. She'd finally done it, taken the first step towards making a future with Jack. She'd been surprised by how nerve wracking it had been to request that Jack be the one to take her in. She'd been less frightened when facing down armed Jaffa.

But she'd done it and now Janet was taking her to Jack.

She frowned at her injured leg, which was sticking straight out on the wheelchair's leg rest, fully encased from thigh to ankle in a leg immobilizer. It hurt, even with the pain meds, but it was looking better than it had when she first woke up. She'd finally been allowed to walk on crutches, as long as she didn't put any weight on her injured leg, but it would still be a while before they started any real physical therapy.

She was really looking forward to getting off base. It had been too long since she'd seen sunlight or breathed fresh air.

And being with Jack would be the icing on the cake. She shivered in anticipation, thinking about the future, with Jack as her lover and, eventually, husband. Would they have children? She'd never really thought about having kids; she'd always been too focused on her career, but now she wondered what it would be like to have Jack's children. She wasn't sure if he'd even want another child after losing Charlie. If not, then that was OK.

If he was happy, she was happy.

Janet guided her into one of the exam rooms. "Janet? Why are we...Oh." She stopped questioning their destination when she spotted Jack leaning against the wall to her left.

Jack straightened and fumbled with something in his hand. Finally, he placed it on a nearby table.

He never once looked at her; in fact, he seemed to be looking at everything but her.

She started to get a really bad feeling about this.

He wasn't going to let her stay with him, was he? It would be too much work or would keep him from leading SG1 on missions.

She should have known better. She loved him, but he could be terribly selfish sometimes.

She kept her eyes focused on the still fidgeting Jack, even when Janet spoke. "I'll leave you two alone to talk," she said and closed the door behind her when she left.

"You don't want me to stay with you, do you? That's what this is all about," she said.

Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets and scuffed a toe on the floor.

Infuriated, Sam said, "Will you just say it already? Stop dragging it out."

Finally Jack looked at her and she felt all the air rush out of her lungs. The look in his eyes...

Now that she thought about it, maybe she was being too hard on him. He was a man and not very nurturing, although, he was good with children. Taking on an invalid was probably scaring him to death. She could understand that.

She would apologize for being such a bitch and tell him that it was OK; she understood.

He'd stop looking at her with that guilt-ridden expression then.

"Carter..."

"Wait. Colonel...Sir...Jack, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I..."

"Don't."

"Jack..."

"I have something that I need to say and you have to hear me out."

She shook her head, wanting to stop him. She didn't want to hear what he had to say.

"I'm sorry. I...Listen. Janet said..." He blew out a breath and looked directly at her.

"Are you in love with me?"

"What?" That certainly wasn't what she expected.

Annoyance clear in his voice, Jack said, "You heard what I said, Carter. Now, I'd like an answer. An honest answer."

Insulted, Sam said, "I don't appreciate being berated."

Jack visibly pulled himself together. "Sorry. I don't mean to snap at you but this is important."

Sam hesitated for a moment. Why did he want her to say the words? Was he unsure of her feelings? Maybe that was why he'd refused to let her stay with him. He was afraid that she didn't return his feelings and he'd say or do something to reveal himself.

She smiled. "Yes.  I'm in love with you."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized that she'd made a mistake because Jack looked distraught. He immediately turned away from her and walked to the back of the room.

"Jack?" She was really scared now. What was going on?

Jack turned back to face her, regret clear in his eyes and body language. "I'm so sorry. I didn't...I never meant to hurt you but," he took a deep breath, "I don't love you. Not like that."

Sam was frozen with shock. For several long minutes she simply sat there trying to take it all in. The words, "I don't love you" were echoing in her head.

It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. She'd been so sure. The way he'd been acting, the things he'd said -- he'd refused to leave her when she'd been trapped behind that forcefield, he'd failed the zaytarc test because he had feelings for her...

He was lying. He had to be. But, why? Then it dawned on her. He was afraid that it would all fall apart like his marriage had. He was always making comments about what a terrible person he was. He thought that he'd screw things up.

"God, Jack. I know you're scared. But we can make this work. It's not like Sara and...You're a good man. It's why I love you."

"I'm not a good man." He strode over and knelt down in front of her. "I'm a bastard who unthinkingly led you on. The sooner you realize that the better it will be because I don't love you. I thought it was just attraction, lust. I never stopped to think that it might be more than that for you."

Sam started shaking her head back and forth in denial. It wasn't true. She wouldn't let it be true. They loved each other. They had to because that was all she had to hold onto.

"No. I don't believe you. You're lying! Why are you lying?!" She cried out.

"I'm not lying," Jack forcefully replied.

She kept shaking her head, tears now falling.

"Carter," Jack said softly, sadly.

She turned her head away, not wanting to look at him, and wished that she could run away from here, from him. But she couldn't. She'd never run anywhere again, would she? Not after what he'd done to her, that other Jack. The one that they'd found naked in Daniel's arms.

She gasped and looked back at Jack, shocked. Could it be? Their realities had been so similar. Could Jack be...with Daniel?! What if seeing Daniel and his double together had made him wonder?

She thought back to the first time she'd met Jack and remembered the way he'd been friendly but reserved, even with Ferretti and Kawalsky. But not with Daniel, a man that he'd known only for a couple of days and hadn't seen in over a year. He'd been protective of Daniel, agreeing to help in order to prevent Hammond from sending a bomb. Teasing Daniel by sending through a box of Kleenex was so openly affectionate. She'd never seen him that way with anyone. And then to deliberately ignore Daniel when they first saw him...Was that an attempt to keep his distance because he was afraid of what he might unintentionally reveal? Had he been afraid that he would give his feelings away?

And was that why Sha're had given Daniel that steamy kiss? Had she sensed Jack's feelings and seen him as a threat?

Daniel had been the first to know about Jack's family. He was the one that Jack confided in and leaned on. He was the first, and really the only one, to be allowed inside Jack's walls.

He spent most of his free time with Daniel, or he used to. She wasn't sure if that was still true. But Daniel had always seemed to feel at home at Jack's house and he was made to feel that way by Jack.

She remembered the way he'd followed after Daniel like a scolded puppy when he'd finished the sting operation that their allies had sent him on. He'd been almost desperate to convince Daniel that it had all been a lie, that they were, and always would be, friends.

He'd said that it had meant a lot to him that Daniel had been the one to talk to him.

He'd shattered the General's window with a hockey stick and started talking about retirement when he thought Daniel was dead.

He listened to Daniel when he wouldn't listen to anyone else and often went against his own instincts to give Daniel what he wanted.

Jack was always touching Daniel and when Jack had slid Daniel's glasses off his face and tucked them into his pocket on Hadante it had been very...intimate.

So were the nicknames -- or should she call them petnames?

They were always finishing each other's sentences or speaking in unison.

"Oh, God," she said, everything suddenly becoming clear. How could she have missed this?

"It's always been about Daniel for you. Always."

Jack suddenly grabbed her wrist, hard.

"It's always been about me. Daniel has nothing to do with this, Carter. Nothing. It's between you and me."

She'd certainly been blind to miss this. He'd never have jumped to her defense that quickly or ferociously. "Don't worry, Colonel. I don't plan on hurting your precious Daniel. He's my friend, too."

"Is he? It hasn't seemed that way to me, lately. I sure as hell wouldn't put it past you to punish him because you think I chose him over you."

Angry and hurt, Sam said, "I would never lash out at Daniel because of your feelings for him. I can't believe you think I'm that petty."

"Yeah, well, the Carter of that other reality got her Daniel killed. So, you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little doubtful."

"She what?!"

Jack shrugged. "That's what the other Jack said."

"He was lying." She was absolutely sure of that. She'd worked hard to get where she was and she took her responsibilities seriously. "I would never deliberately hurt anyone out of jealousy or...or spite." Maybe she had been taking her disappointment out on Daniel, a little, but avoiding him because she was jealous of the fact that Jack could spend time with him and be close to him without it affecting both their careers was a far cry from murder.

"It wasn't deliberate. She was too focused on Jack to bother with Daniel and that got him killed."

Sam shook her head. That would never happen. She loved Daniel, too, even if she hadn't done such a good job of showing it lately. She would never cause his death. Would she?

She couldn't possibly be that pathetic. She was an officer in the United States Air Force and proud of it. She'd taken an oath. She would never be so...so..."girlie" as to violate that oath in such a reprehensible way for a man.

She felt shaky and lightheaded. It wasn't possible.

Oh, God. What if was? What if she was capable of behaving so dishonorably because of her hormones, for Christ's sake? She'd have to completely rethink every decision she'd made in the past several years. What if she'd already allowed her personal feelings to interfere with her professional judgment?

She'd never have forgiven herself if she'd gotten Daniel or Teal'c or anyone else killed. Neither would Jack. He would probably have wanted to kill her.

And suddenly it all made sense. She finally knew why she'd been shot. "It was deliberate, wasn't it?"

Jack didn't answer.

"He wanted to kill me."

Jack let go of her wrist and stood back up, putting some distance between them. "Yeah, he did."

"Well then why didn't he," she asked bitterly. "Why didn't he finish me off, instead of leaving me crippled? Or did he decide that this would be more painful?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"He's you."

"He's not me. He was...Daniel thinks that he was insane, that losing the person he loved, after everything else that he'd lost, finally pushed him over the edge. It wasn't personal, Carter. If anything, letting you live was probably an act of mercy."

"Mercy? Funny, but I don't feel like he was very merciful."

Jack looked at her for a moment before saying, "It wasn't you that he was showing mercy to."

And like a hammer to the head it hit her. He'd left her alive for Daniel's sake. It would have destroyed Daniel if she'd been killed because of him so he'd crippled her instead.

But now she wondered, had he crippled her because he honestly believed that she was a threat to Daniel or because he wanted to hurt her.

And did Jack, this Jack, feel the same way?

"Would you..." Sam stopped to compose herself when she heard how weak and watery her voice sounded. She swiped a hand over her eyes and down her cheeks, wiping away the tears drying on her face.

She looked down at her shattered knee and said, "Are you glad that he shot me?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"A fair one, I think, but maybe I should rephrase it? Would you have shot me if he hadn't? It seems that I don't know you as well as I thought I did. And the two realities were very similar."

Jack shoved his hands through his hair from forehead to nape, and then locked his fingers at the back of his neck. "I wouldn't have shot you if he hadn't and I'm sure as hell not glad that he shot you," he said angrily.

She wasn't entirely sure if she believed him and her doubts must have shown on her face because he focused all of his attention onto her and asked, "Are we going to have a problem, Carter?"

He wanted to know if they were going to have a problem? He'd just ripped her heart out and stomped all over it, told her that she was in this wheelchair because of something her double had done, and made it clear that he thought she was incompetent and he wanted to know if there was a problem?

How stupid could the man be? Of course there was a problem. She...Wait a minute. His question didn't have anything to do with their working relationship or friendship.

How stupid could she be?

"Are you asking me if I'm going to tell everyone about Daniel and your alternate? Are you afraid that I'm going to out you to everyone at the SGC? Is that the 'problem' you're asking about?"

Jack looked her straight in the eye and, without hesitation, said, "Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking you."

"You really are a selfish bastard," She said. "I'm sitting here in a wheelchair; I've just been told that the man I'm in love with has been stringing me along..."

Jack, looking insulted, tried to interrupt but Sam stopped him from speaking. "Shut up," she bit out angrily.

"This isn't about you. For once this isn't about you. It's about me and my needs."

"It's always about you and your needs," Jack angrily replied.

"It's always about you getting praise and you getting recognition. God forbid that we forget to stroke your ego at every turn or disagree with you. Hell stroking you was the easiest way to convince you to stop babbling and get your ass in gear.

"I know that you've been put in a horrible position and that I haven't helped but there are more people involved in this whole fiasco than you and me. Daniel's been eating his heart out for weeks over whether he could have saved you. Teal'c's been stuck in the middle of this little melodrama for years now. The whole team's been destroyed by this.

"If it ever got out...can you imagine what Kinsey and his buddies at the NID could do if they found out about this? Hammond could be relieved of duty. Teal'c could still be shipped off to some top secret facility for 'study' and Daniel..." Jack shuddered. "The military isn't known for its tolerance and understanding of homosexuality. Some pissed off Marine or airman or two or a dozen could decide to teach him a lesson. Provided, of course, that he hasn't been kicked out of the SGC."

Sam's first impulse was to defend herself against Jack's unreasonable attack. She didn't demand special treatment or act like a spoiled princess. It hurt, badly, to realize how low Jack's opinion of her really was. He'd had respect for her in the past. What had happened to change that?

As he continued to talk, she realized that he was right. No matter how angry she was, spilling her guts about what happened on P3X-241 would be reckless and vindictive and she'd like to think that she was a better person than that.

It pissed her off that Jack was going to walk away from this scot-free. No. It was worse than that. He wasn't simply getting away without punishment; he was getting rewarded -- with Daniel.

"It's easy for you to lecture me on acting professionally. You're not the one that's been crippled and you're not the one who's going to end up alone. Are you?"

"Are you asking me if I'm romantically involved with Daniel, Major?"

"Yes, Sir," Sam said. She knew that his use of her rank was a clear signal for her to back off but she refused to back down. As far as she was concerned, she had a right know.

"That's none of your business and last I looked you were still bound to obey military regulations. Remember 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'?"

Sam hooted in derision. "You're a fine one to talk about regulations, Colonel."

"True." Jack crossed his arms over his chest. "You haven't answered my question."

"Don't worry, Colonel, I'll keep your dirty little secret," Sam spit out.

Jack moved so fast that she jerked backwards in surprise when he suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, right in her face. He leaned over her menacingly and said, in a cold, deadly voice, "I don't give a fuck what you say to me or about me, I figure I deserve your wrath, but I'll be damned if I'll let you do or say anything that vicious about Daniel. He is not now, nor will he ever be my 'dirty, little secret'. You hear me, Major."

"I hear you," Sam frostily replied. Looked like she'd been well and truly put into her place. If she hadn't known where things stood before, she certainly knew now.

Daniel was the end all be all for him and she was something nasty that he scraped off his shoe.

"I understand completely. Now, I'd like you to get the hell away from me, Sir. This conversation is over. Leave."

After giving her one last searching look, Jack straightened. Apparently, he'd seen whatever he was looking for because he nodded and then headed for the door.

"I'll send Janet in," he said and left.

Sam kept her head high and her breathing even until the door closed behind him. As soon as she heard the click of the latch, she lost her control. She crumpled forward over her legs and began sobbing uncontrollably.

It seemed to hit her all at once -- everything that she'd lost, the months of painful therapy she would have to endure, the poor prognosis, and her fears about the future.

How was she going to survive? Now that she had to do it all alone.

She eventually became aware of strong arms holding her close against a soft, warm body and small hands stroking her back soothingly.

Janet.

She buried her head against her friend's stomach, accepting the comfort offered. "What am I going to do?" She wailed.

"Shh. It's going to be alright. You're not alone.

"I've got you and I'm not going anywhere."

***

Jack slammed his front door and headed into the kitchen. He pulled open a cupboard and grabbed the bottle of JD that he kept there.

He was halfway through his second glass before he realized that he wasn't alone. He looked up to see Daniel standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the door jamb and watching him worriedly.

He tiredly rubbed his fingers over his eyes. "Daniel."

"Jack," Daniel replied to Jack's greeting and walked into the room. He pressed up against Jack's back and started to massage Jack's shoulders. "Are you alright?"

Jack sighed and leaned his head back against Daniel's stomach. "No," he said. "No. I'm not." He felt like he'd been worked over by a professional enforcer. His entire body ached, except, the pain was emotional rather than physical.

"What happened?"

Jack's first instinct was to lie, but this was Daniel; he couldn't lie to Daniel.

Daniel knew most of it anyway. All that was left was for him to fill in the ugly details. So he did.

When he was done, Daniel -- who had stayed at his back, hands resting on Jack's shoulders -- sat down at the table beside Jack and had his own shot of JD.

Hands loosely clasped and resting on the tabletop and head bowed, Daniel said, "What a mess."

Jack chuckled humorlessly. He couldn't agree more.

After a few minutes of silence, he said, "That all you're gonna say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe that I was an asshole or something about kicking Carter when she's down?"

Daniel looked over at him, eyes meeting Jack's. "You already know all that."

Abruptly, Jack pushed his chair back and stood. He stayed motionless, not sure of where to go or what to do. All he knew was that he suddenly had the overwhelming need to get out, go somewhere. Anywhere.

Daniel stood, too. "Jack," he said softly. "I'm not going to lecture you. You feel low enough already and it's too late to change anything."

"I know," Jack said forcefully and a little too loudly. "I'm sorry," he said and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

He shifted restlessly back and forth, resting most of his weight on one foot and then the other.

Daniel watched him intently for a moment before saying, "I think we should take some time off. And not just the two of us -- Teal'c should come, too. I think we all need to get away from the SGC for a while.

"Everything's changed now. We all have some important decisions to make."

Jack felt a tightening in his gut. "What decisions?" No way in hell was he letting Daniel walking away from him now. It would kill him. "There are no 'decisions'."

Daniel moved over to Jack's side and rested his hand on Jack's upper arm. "What we had as SG1 is gone. It'll never be the same, Jack. We need to decide, really decide not just do because it's the expected thing, what it is we really want. Maybe it's time for us, as a team, to end."

"I don't want us to end," Jack said fiercely. Jack turned to fully face Daniel and gripped him by the upper arms. "Not as a team or anything else."

"I don't want to either. I love being a part of SG1 but there is no SG1, not without Sam. It just wouldn't be the same."

"No it wouldn't, but that doesn't mean it can't still be great."

"Can you really live with the knowledge that you're breaking your oath every time we step through the Stargate together?"

Jack leaned forward and rested his forehead against Daniel's. "I don't know," he said wearily. "I don't know, Daniel. But I do know that I won't let you go. I can't."

Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack and hugged him. "Good," he said. "I don't want you to let me go." Then he pressed his lips against Jack's in a soft, loving caress. "I love you," Daniel said tenderly.

Jack smiled, feeling optimistic for the first time since he had met with Janet. "Back at'cha."

Epilogue

Daniel slowly returned to consciousness. He shifted slightly, feeling the skin of his leg, arm, and torso sliding along the length of Jack's equally naked body. He idly wondered what it was that had awakened him.

He felt Jack's hand stroking his back and realized that Jack was awake, too. "Jack?" he quietly asked in a sleep roughened voice.

Jack's hand stopped at the small of his back. "Sorry," Jack said softly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

Daniel rose up on one elbow so he could see Jack's face. Luckily, there was a full moon tonight and its blue-white glow allowed him to almost see Jack clearly. It suited the mood a lot better than the harsh glare of the bedside lamp.

"What's wrong?"

Jack slid his fingers into Daniel's short hair. "Nothing's wrong." He paused for a moment, fingers absently massaging Daniel's scalp.

Daniel smiled. He loved Jack's need to keep his hands busy because it meant a whole lot of touching and caressing and petting. He'd almost forgotten how wonderful it was to be touched.  It was a shame, though, that Jack couldn't do this at the SGC. Aside from the enjoyment he got from being stroked, he wouldn't have to worry about his books or artifacts being damaged by Jack's handling.

"Maybe that's the problem," Jack said distractedly.

Daniel frowned. "I don't understand."

Jack pulled Daniel back down onto his chest and wrapped his arms around Daniel's back. "I guess I'm just not used to everything being alright. I keep expecting the other shoe to drop."

"I think it already did," Daniel said, his thoughts on Sam and the events of the past two months.

"Maybe," Jack said and began stroking Daniel's back again. Daniel, face pressed against Jack's chest, smiled.

"I felt that," Jack said.

"And, so, but, therefore?" Daniel said and swiped his tongue across Jack's nipple, causing Jack to shudder. Daniel grinned. Jack had incredibly sensitive nipples.

Jack rolled them over so that he was on top of Daniel. Looming over him, Jack said, "I thought you were too tired for another round," referring to a conversation they'd had earlier that night. After they'd made love for the third time in as many hours.

"I was. Then," Daniel said and arched up to capture Jack's mouth in a hungry kiss.

No matter how many times they did this Daniel was still amazed. He'd never even suspected this was possible. Jack was straight, or so he'd thought, and even if Jack wasn't he'd never go for a geeky intellectual. Not in a million years. It was a hopeless infatuation that he'd done his best to get over.

If anyone had told him that he'd wind up naked in Jack's bed he'd have laughed himself sick.

He'd never been so thrilled to be wrong.

He was happier and more alive than he'd been in years. He felt as if he'd been sleepwalking through life since Sha're had been taken from him and had only now woken up.

"I love you," he said against Jack's mouth, delighted by the ability to say the words.

"Love you, too," Jack replied and began trailing kisses along his jaw.

Daniel arched his back and dug his fingers into Jack's hips, pulling Jack flush against his body. He could feel the length of Jack's rigid erection, a mirror of his own aching flesh, pressing into his stomach.

They began moving against each other, quickly finding their rhythm, driving each other closer and closer to orgasm. Daniel gasped out Jack's name as he neared his peak. He could feel the intensity building. Starting from his toes and the top of his head, the shockwaves roared through his body until he exploded with a scream that was swallowed by Jack's mouth.

Seconds later he felt Jack tense and buck against him before collapsing onto his chest, gasping for air, body trembling with aftershocks.

After a few moments, Jack rolled sideways and pulled Daniel's body next to his so that they were spooned together, Jack's chest pressed against Daniel's back.

He kissed Daniel's shoulder and said, "I'd never have regretted giving it all up for you. You're the only thing in my life that's indispensable."

His words brought Daniel's thoughts back to their recent stay at Jack's cabin.

They'd invited Teal'c, like he'd suggested and Teal'c had agreed to join them. It was way past time for them to clear the air and Jack's cabin was the perfect place to do it -- remote, private and, most importantly, not even remotely connected to the US military. They could be themselves there without fear of discovery or punishment.

He would have liked to include Sam as well but it was too late for that. Right now, the best thing that they could do for her was to leave her alone.

Sam apparently agreed because he'd heard, from Janet, that Sam was going to California to live with her brother and his family for awhile. He'd invited and Sam had agreed because she needed to live as normal a life as possible if she was going to adjust and move on with her life. Daniel understood; it was easier to recover from a loss when you weren't surrounded by painful reminders day in and day out.

He really hoped that they could be friends again someday. He missed her.

It had been awkward at first, at the cabin. Sam's absence was felt by everyone, Jack was a very private man and wasn't comfortable talking about his feelings, and Teal'c was as uncomfortable as Jack and for very similar reasons.

It had taken some time and some very heated words, but they had worked everything out.

For the first time in years there had been no secrets between them and by the time Teal'c left, five days later, they'd been closer than they'd been since their secrets had come between them.

They'd reached some important decisions. In fact, once they'd gotten past the anger and hurt, it had been surprisingly easy, if painful.

Without Sam there was no SG1. They'd known it all along and spending a week together, just the three of them, had made it impossible to ignore the fact that without Sam they weren't a team -- they were simply three friends.

So, no more SG1. He couldn't help feeling that it was the end of an era, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. They were all getting older and their priorities were changing. Teal'c had joined the SGC as a way to help free his people, not help the Tau'ri gain technology and weapons. Daniel had started out searching for his wife and continued after her death because he'd felt that he was needed. He still felt needed, but not on a combat unit. Jack's knees were getting worse every year and it wouldn't be much longer before he'd become a liability off world.

Ultimately, they'd made the choices that they felt were the best for themselves and the SGC.

Teal'c admitted that he had only stayed on Earth as long as he had because of his loyalty to SG1 and General Hammond. His people had finally begun to fight back against the Goa'uld and, really, that was where he belonged -- fighting at Bra'tac's and his son's side. They would miss him, but he wouldn't be completely gone. The rebel Jaffa were allies, so they'd be able to see him again.

Jack and Daniel had decided to learn from the mistakes of another reality's past and not continue working on the same team. They had never before allowed their feelings for each other to put others at risk, but things were different now and there was a damn good reason why the Air Force had rules against fraternization.

Jack had decided to retire, again. He wasn't entirely ready to leave it all behind but he wasn't interested in breaking in a new team or sitting behind a desk.

Daniel had thought long and hard about what he wanted to do and had realized that what he wanted most was to be an archeologist. It was what he'd always wanted. And he could still have it. The SGC had two Archeology teams, SG11 and SG17.

Decisions made, they'd spent a few more days together before Teal'c had gone back to the SGC. Jack and Daniel had spent another week at the cabin, enjoying each other. It was almost like a honeymoon.

When they'd gotten back to Colorado Springs, they'd headed straight for the SGC to talk to Hammond. He'd agreed to almost everything. Daniel had been reassigned to SG11. Hammond had given Teal'c his blessing, told him that he would be missed, and wished him well. But, he hadn't accepted Jack's decision to retire. He'd had a better idea. Well, Hammond thought that it was a better idea and Daniel agreed. He wanted to put Jack in charge of training the new recruits. It would put his skills and knowledge to perfect use.

Jack hadn't been too enthusiastic about the prospect, but Daniel had convinced him to accept the offer. He was almost certain that Jack had finally agreed because he knew that he would go stir crazy in less than a week if he retired and because he would still be able to harass Daniel at work.

It wasn't perfect, but Daniel was happy with the choices that they'd made. Everything was working out and it was leaving Daniel as unsettled as Jack. He, too, had been kicked in the teeth by life often enough to be wary when things seemed to be going too well.

But, he intended to enjoy what they had for as long as he could. Why worry about possible problems in the future when you could just be happy instead?

He turned in Jack's arms so that they were facing each other. Lightly touching his fingertips to Jack's cheek, he said, "I would have given it all up for you, too. We're in this together."

Jack tangled his fingers in Daniel's and pulled Daniel's hand away from his face so he could place a gentle kiss on Daniel's palm.

"We've always been in this together, right from the beginning. It just took a while to realize it," Jack said. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Daniel smiled. "Neither would I."

The End